Feeling Unsure & Confused
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| Wed, 03-15-2006 - 5:39am |
Tell me what does one do with a man that doesnt like to have conversations about a relationship? He avoids them at all costs. So in turn that makes me unable to feel comfortable about bringing anything up for discussion.
Hes either always calling or not calling for a day or two. I dont feel at times like much of priority in his life somedays. Like last night, he instant messaged me on yahoo and said hi. I said hi, and that was it he was gone. He's had trouble with his pc alot lately so maybe he did last night. But I called his cell and told him I think I lost him so just call me back, that was at 715 PM, well he never called. Alot of times he leaves his phone in his truck at night, but was it too much trouble for him to think to go outside, get the phone and call me??? Guess he didnt want to talk to me that badly after all. At least that is how Im left feeling.
Weve been dating about 8 months, never had an exclusive conversation, just things were said that left it as a "you understand". Ive had a guy ask me out lately and I just keep putting him off. Im wondering if Im doing the right thing here, or if I should just go.
I have feelings for my bf, but sometimes I feel like Im doing a majority of the work, and just like last night, Im left feeling unimportant. What do I do?

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Hi Spiceman!! I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for the kind words and the encouragement!! When you get things going in the right direction, its nice to hear that your doing okay!
I also wanted to update you and let you know how well your advice worked. The other night I was telling him that I was looking into a vacation on my own, with no kids, just to regroup and do something for me after all Ive been through the last two years. He got quiet and said all alone? I said yeah, sure!! He said well I guess you'll have a good time, then offered to go with me. LOL Make a long story short,I mentioned that he couldnt do that, hes a busy guy and we could never pull that off. Well that opened the door for a long conversation the very next day, which he initiated!!
He let me know that he knows its not easy with him sometimes. That with his job,kids, and his house, and all I have, that we dont always get enough time together. But he asked me to continue being understanding and patient as he is attempting to make it better. He also said that we never talked about exclusiveness, and it felt it was unfair to me, but he would like it if we were. I said of course, I havent seen anyone but you for a long time.
He suggested that maybe if we sit down once a week and talk about our schedules with work and the kids, that maybe we can find a way to make more time for one another.
So you were right!!! All I had to do was give him time, make him comfortable with talking, and it just flowed after I dropped one little hint. So THANK YOU so very much!!
Oh and by the way, I decided not to take that vacation right now alone, and we talked about taking it in the future. We felt that a trip like that together may not seem appropriate at this time. Considering my divorce isnt final, and it may send the wrong message to our respective children.
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