Feelings for over a decade.....when is it more than a "crush"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2011
Feelings for over a decade.....when is it more than a "crush"?
Sat, 07-30-2011 - 5:34am

So I've been friends with this guy literally since birth. We grew up with each other. Our parents are friends. His sister was my best friend. He is good friends with my brother. Our lives are very intertwined in many ways. He has been at every crossroad of my life and we have many memories together during childhood.

There has always been something between us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

If it's important that he marry a woman of the same faith, then he's obviously not "exactly" what you're looking for in a guy. He has faith in something that you do not. That's a BIG incompatibility. But aside from that, I believe friends often make the best "lovers" (I hate that word but eh) and it's possible that this incompatibility is not insurmountable. There are lots of people who are married to (or dating) a person of another faith and they are able to compromise.

You say you were too "chicken" to act on your feelings before. Well, you're apparently too "chicken" even still! You dont' want to be rejected? You don't want to make things awkward? If that's your priority, then you can expect to never gain an opportunity because OPPORTUNITY always comes with some RISK.

You have been friends for life. If he rejects you, it will be awkward. But it won't ruin your relationship forever. And why do your friends and families have to get involved? This is a personal discussion between the two of you. It's not like they're going to overhear you spilling your feelings in the high school hallway in between classes.

I think you should stop making excuses for being shy, nervous, awkward, scared, whatever, and act like an adult and GO GET WHAT YOU WANT!!

The worst that can happen is you finally knowing whether or not something could ever happen between you, rather than carrying on in limbo and worrying about it.