First time screw up

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2011
First time screw up
6
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 5:36pm

Bit new to all this, so please bare with me.

so just started uni, never had a boyfriend, never been kissed. nothing. ever.

went to a sports social and started to hit it off with this guy, he asks me back to his but i turn him down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 10:39pm

Ok, I'm curious--as a girl who's never had a BF why is that instead of trying to get a BF instead you just decide to start right off

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 10:53pm

I also

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2011
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 9:00am
i guess as a kid, i was always trying to find a boyfriend (perhaps find isn't the right word here, but i'm sure you understand what I mean) but no guy ever gave me attention in that way. my folks never gave me 'the talk' either, and a lot of the stuff i know about sex i found out myself, they are really strict, and tbh, they wouldn't let me have a bf even if i wanted to and had found a guy. i guess coming to uni has given me a new freedom that girls are allowed to meet guys. ultimately i'd like to find a guy who genuinely cares about me, but at the same time i am also happy with a casual relationship. perhaps in the end it's more a curiosity of it all. i'm still not too sure. and in regards to the decision, we never really said what it would be, i think we were going to try it and see what happened.he said himself that he liked me and that we could have a laugh together. i would like to try again with him, when we chatted before and after it was really nice. i just hope i haven't jeopardised it too much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 12:06pm

I think you have to spend some time thinking about what it is that you want for yourself--not what your parents want and not what you want to do to rebel against your parents.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2011
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 9:06pm
I had a bit of a bad night. When mutual friends found out that I was interested in him they said he had a girlfriend. This next bit is totally my fault but I decided to drink a little more than usual. When I'd sobered up a bit (apparently) I text him to find out if it was true. He said it was not and we left it like that. As I really did sober up at the end of the night I think I worked out what it was that I wanted. I think I really wanted the male attention. I don't think all this is a rebellion against my parents. I still see them most weeks so it's hard to truly rebel, but I think the fact that boys were actually noticing me, that's where I went off the rails. Although I'd have hoped that the bit post sex would be a little more intimate I think I'm still ok with some form of casual relationship with a guy, but I've learnt to control my urges more and my friends tonight have shOwn me that there are guys out there that do genuinely care. Definitely a lesson and a self-discovery learnt the hard way.
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 01-01-2012 - 6:19pm

Hi

chaika