Flick and other please read...
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Flick and other please read...
| Fri, 02-17-2006 - 12:44am |
I was reluctant to post this because we have a vast amjority here that are from different religion but I see a lot of this posted in the men and women who try to give perspective.


Bastphilliy, I agree with the previous poster.
I'm an athiest. So I mentally removed all the religious references to God and found that I very much agree with the remaining sentiments of the passage.
Great post.
Well considering my screen name made the title of the post, Im sure your looking for me!! LOL So here I am with my response. But first I want to thank you, Ive "met" some wonderful people on this site, people that have restored my faith in the world around me, just because of things like this. People that are so willing to put their time and their thoughts into helping me and others. SO THANKS SO VERY MUCH!!
I thought the post was terrific. Many parts that I read, I just felt like they were written to me and about me, at this point in my life. I have already saved a copy to my documents, so that I can always have it there to pick me up and help me sort things out when need be.
"The Man in your life should recognize you
as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever
he must in order to gain your hand. "
This line was exactly what I was trying to say yesterday in my response to Erin. My confusion and sadness right now are not about just a vday gift, I just think the missing vday gift from him, was the straw that broke the camels back. Ive shown and said so many things to him to let him know how I feel for him. Im looking for that same respect back. Somedays I feel like the pearl, and it lasts for a week or two, then I feel like the "cubic zirconia" that no one wants. Hes either all there for me, or not there, theres no constant happy medium. When I look back, the times I am the pearl for awhile are the times when he feels Im drifting away and he wants me back. To me theres no honest feelings in that. And all this committment phobia stuff, to me, is a big cope out,for not opening your heart, and treating a person the way they should be, like a pearl. Love to me is both people recognizing the other as the pearl of their life.
"If the person you meet makes you feel that you need to completely
reinvent yourself, something is wrong. This is where I ask you to
consider the relationship in terms of cost"
On this quote, yes I do feel as if I have to reinvent myself at times, more times than I care to admit. Quite ironic that he tells me to always be myself, thats the person he loves, but when Im myself things are good for awhile, then he pulls away. Im a good hearted person by nature, and I like to do for others, he recognizes this, but just because I do something for him doesnt mean Im trying to trap him or corner him. I do it out of love and admiration. Ive had to reinvent myself as far as saying how I feel and whats on my mind. If I feel the need to say what I feel, I always have that little voice inside of me that says, STOP, if you say this it could push him away!! I think to an extent we all have to hold things back until the proper time, but to have to hold back constantly isnt healthy for us, and its reinventing.
So you see Im thinking that its time to sit and have a long talk. I maybe the one who does all the talking and Im prepared for that and for the outcome of the talk, either way it goes. I have so many questions I need anwsers to from him, the biggest being where are we going here? Are we dating exclusivly (i at times think hes handled that one as a you understood, its never been stated by him, but he acts like we are and that he expects that from me in return)? Why is hishome a place Ive never been invited to? Why does he shower me with so much attention, then pulls away because its getting too serious for him? (afterall if hes doing the showering, then he needs to be sure Im what he wants, you cant shower a person with that much attention, and then back away all the time, its unfair, its confusing, and it hurts.)
Ive never minded working around his crazy work schedule or his kids. But I think for things to work, we also need to put aside a night or two a month that is for us. These quick 1 and a half hour visits a week are okay, as long as theres special time thats their for us too.
All i know for sure right now, is we have alot to talk about. I also know that if he doesnt see himself ever being able to have the relationship with me that Im hoping for, he needs to let me go. When I go, he needs to stay away, and let me start again. I dont want him hanging on to me if we cant have what Im looking for, it would just be too difficult for me. I do believe God lead him to me, because over these past 10 months, putting aside all the other issues, he has been a wonderful friend, confidant, and source of strength when I needed it. I thank God for him everyday, but maybe His intentions were for it to be no more than that.