Friends or....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2005
Friends or....
1
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 2:33am
So I have a friend-with-benefits situation that I need some advice with. There's a man I've been friends with for a little over 2 years now. Shortly after becoming friends, we dated for a few months. This was mostly a reaction to the fact that we'd both suffered ugly breakups (both of us being dumped) recently. He broke up with me because he said he had "issues with women" and because he really only saw me as one of the guys, i.e. just part of our circle of friends. Since then, we've been friends, although I have gotten pissed at him on several occasions because of his inability to keep in touch with me. I was especially upset about this time last year when he showed up at the bar with a much younger woman that he had not bothered to tell me he was dating. They dated for several months.
Anyway, I think I may have fallen in love with this twit. We have gone through periods of sleeping together, "just as friends". So I can't decide if I'm in love or not. I love being with him. I feel that the room brightens when he walks in and darkens when he leaves. I adore listening to him ramble on and on. I am unbelieveably attracted to him. I genuinely care about him as a person and the sex is amazing.
So, am I in love or just lust-with-a-friend? And if I am in love, should I tell him and take the chance that he may want to try again? What does anyone think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: myeo76
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 9:34am

myeo76...

Pianoguy might be mistaken, but he thinks YOUR EXPECTATIONS were considerably higher than HIS!

Face it! Your relationship began out of loneliness that was caused by the ugly breakups each of you had. It began as FWB, but from your vantagepoint...things got more serious than he wanted them to?

So perhaps you should ask yourself if you can HONESTLY stay detached emotionally in spite of the fact that the 2 of you occasionally SLEEP TOGETHER? A woman can tell any man how deeply her feelings might be....but this ISN'T A GUARANTEE that his response will be similar?

Pianoguy