Friends or More? Please Help I am stuck

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2009
Friends or More? Please Help I am stuck
Wed, 06-03-2009 - 3:32pm

Hello dear friends of the iVillage community.

First off, let me warn you - this one is a doozy and I'm probably going to have a lot to write, so God bless you for reading all of it.

I am having a hell of a time with my best guy friend, who we'll call Charlie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 06-03-2009 - 10:05pm

"He doesn't want to risk it. Why do his actions need to speak otherwise? I'm tired of waiting and need answer."

You have his answer - He doesn't want to risk it. I don't blame him in a way, especially considering his past awkward experience. As for why he acts the way he does, well there's no label attached to holding your hand or calling you hun. No expectation or obligation or explaining to friends. He likes you but not enough to overcome the barrier he's set for himself.

You don't need him to hate you or hit you, justine (I love your username) - You know he's not after a relationship with you and you have to act accordingly. If being flirty is bothersome to you because you're left wanting more, then you need to have the guts to say so. There's no reason he's going to stop flirting with you because he's not the one who is hurt by it. So it's gotta be you standing up for yourself.

A guy who really needs to be with a girl will take any risk for her, if he's inhibited by fear then it's better off you know now so you can cut off your flirting and closeness before you develop stronger feelings. I'm sorry but if he were interested enough he would make it very clear. It shouldn't take eight months to gather the courage to ask a girl out, he's a coward and probably has never REALLY liked a girl enough to do anything about it.