friends turning to more
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friends turning to more
| Wed, 12-28-2005 - 2:18pm |
i had been with a man for about a year, he moved due to business across the country, i was heartbroken but also understood. i have a friend who i have known my entire life and we have always been there to pick up the pieces for each other, well he was there to mend my heartache, hes this really amazing man, adorable, funny, sweet, considerate, kind, heres my dilema, there are times where i think we are more than friends feel something towards each other, we have kissed twice in 15 years of friendship, it has been in the last 4 months 1 time he kissed me and i was shocked one time i kissed him and he was shocked. he makes comments like i think we should be together or someone will ask him who hes seeing and hell say me and smile. he'll make plans with me and not show up heut always call the next day to apologize.
he is probably my best friend my problem is how can i tell if he really does want more than friendship without scaring the crap out of him? as i can be his friend and i could definatly be more than that.
he is probably my best friend my problem is how can i tell if he really does want more than friendship without scaring the crap out of him? as i can be his friend and i could definatly be more than that.

He likes you, has always liked you, but feels that you are the ambivalent one. If you want it, then it is up to you to take the step. You'll pretty much have to just grab him and push yourself against him in order to send the message - hope that doesn't sound harsh. I seriously doubt he would resist.
you've known each other for fifteen years! I can almost promise you that he would be open to something more than friendship. If you make a move, it could be forever, so think about it.
Hope that helps.
M
Hi. Glad you wrote -- don't really know what to say.. maybe you're afraid you'll start getting bored with him, or feel that you'll lose something of yourself as you decide whether to make him a main part of your life. You've known each other a long time so I wouldn't worry about him just suddenly disappearing if you stay cold to him (are you being cold to him?), but still you should respond to his move at the Christmaas party. You didn't really say what happened after he kissed you and told you he loved you, except that you got nervous. That's a pretty big step for him, by the way. (By the way, that is exacty why I haven't done that sort of thing for a woman, I just don't care to get that reaction to it, even if I'm sure about her. And that's why I'm still single..) Maybe he tried to pursue it further than a kiss. I don't know. But if you are really serious about him you should do something or say something extraordinarily welcoming to him right away. He probably is wondering if he should move on -- there ar probably a couple other women he knows or thinks about (maybe) but definitely he likes you more than anyone. Now, think about how terrible you would feel if you saw him with someone else, or found out he was thinking about someone else.
Good luck, let me know -- and would you care to help me with something? It seems like we could communicate. I am in the Army and am returning to duty next Tuesday, and thought I'cd come to these boards looking for a solution and maybe contribute, but I haven't seen anything concerning my problem (it's not anything weird, I just need a little advice, and don't feel like going to a bar and talking about it, or talking about it with girls I know).
In any case, good luck with this guy. He is probably a little hurt, or a lot hurt, but probably knows that you like him too. He is definitely confused. And yes, there's a chance you might lose him, so please do something positive to keep it alive. And don't be afraid of commitment - especially if you feel like you can be honest with this guy. You are in a really good spot, but maybe you don't realize it. Good luck...