Friends w/Benefits goes wrong
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| Wed, 03-15-2006 - 4:10pm |
Hey everyone I hope to get some feedback on my situation.
I'm a college student and just over a year ago I started sleeping with a guy who goes to school with me. He told me that he's just looking for a "Safe Friend w/Benefits", I told him that sounded good to me since I didn't want a relationship because I had to focus on school. Plus we both had the same classes and could study together and fool around at the same time. I wasn't even attracted to him so I thought everything would be fine. 9 months went by and everything was fine. We hang out with the same friends, we have met our parents and co-workers.
No one knows what we do on the side, other than being friends. Which I prefer because I don't want to hear any criticism from anyone. Anyhow we live in Tx and in Sept when hurricanes were heading our way we decided to leave town together. We stayed in a hotel for 6 days until it was safe to come home. We had a great time, we get along so well and we are like the perfect couple in everyone's eyes.
When we got home we went on about our usual, when I got home I noticed I thought about him alot more than usual. I even fantasized about him, something I have never done before. I even started to miss him, and want to be more affectionate with him when we would hang out. So I decided to stop talking to him after our Fall semester. I even changed my number, I just couldn't handle him calling me because I knew I really liked him at that point. Well when Christmas came around I decided to call his mom and tell her Merry Christmas and she asked me Where have you been? And told me that he's been sad with out me and doesn't understand why I just dissappeared. I told her I had been busy and haven't had time.
Well not 30 minutes later he called me from her phone and was like HEY Stranger why are you hiding? I told him I'd been busy, we chatted for a while and he invited me to a New Years Party, I declined because I had to be strong and fight the urge to see him. My birthday was in January and he called me and was like let me take you out, I declined. He called me for Valentine's just to say hello and ask me out and I agreed.
We went out to dinner and went back to his house and did our usual. Afterwards I told him everything, I told him I started to have feelings for him after the hurricane evacuation and since I have been miserable thinking about him. Well he said wow I didn't know you felt that way, but why did you run & hide? I told him I was ashamed b/c I understood the agreement. Anyhow he told me well don't worry about it, it's ok. And we fell a sleep holding each other. The next day I felt weird and just wanted to leave so as he took a shower I left.
Now he keeps calling me & asking me to come over and I don't know what to do. I think he doesn't care how I feel, and just wants to continue sleeping together. I don't want that anymore. I feel like we can talk about anything and everything but I'm really afraid to find out that he's going to tell me he doesn't want anything more. It's weird that I don't want to be rejected by him, I wonder if it's b/c I like him now?
I just need to hear anything on how to handle this, and if anyone has ever gone through this. Is this normal behavior?
Thanks for hearing me out, Sorry I wrote a book :)

How do you know how he feels if you will not talk to him or see him? I would think expressing your feelings is something best done in person then over the phone which you will not see him. If he thought of you as just sex he would not have acknowledged your feelings and then to call afterward. Come on suck it up and here his side before running away.