Getting the guy, help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2011
Getting the guy, help!!
2
Thu, 09-26-2013 - 3:48pm

Hi everybody. It has been a year since I asked for advice on how to be more flirty with guys and attract them, and it really helped me cause I think I 've boosted my confidence and got some guys too, even if nothing serious. I am an endlessly romantic person and I have always wanted to find something true, a guy that I would truly like and share my life with ( I am not the kind of party animal or ''having many friends'' person, so what I want is a real relationship to complete my cosy life). The good thing is, I have a friend since a year ago for who I have strong feelings and I think he likes me too. He is not the kind of experienced guy, he is shy but we match a lot, we have spent hours and hours talking about everything ( we are both the brainy type of person) and have travelled together, let's say that we have spent wonderful time together, and I am sure he has appreciated too. Since some time I think he has been flirty towards me, he grabs my hand often, hugs me a lot, say how much he appreciates me and some friends have seen these signs and are wondering if we are dating. Of course I can not tell with certainty how he feels, but I am strong enough and I have some signs to make the first step, and that's where I want advice! Shall I tell him with words? What to say and how to not make him uncomfortable? I have also been thinking to kiss him, but I don't know what excuse I shall use to get so close to him! I have never done this before, and it is the first time that I am thinking about really getting the guy, since all guys I have dated made the first move but I didn't really like them....Another thing is, we are very flirty when within a group of friends, but when just the two of us, it's really uncomfortable so that's a big step to make! Has anyone been there before and has good advice? or know a similar story and can help me? What do you think is the best thing to do? If anyone can help that would be great...:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sun, 09-29-2013 - 10:01am

I am a man who has been shy but also assertive, so this is a different situation than I'd encountered myself.

In this case, your friend has sent some signals he may be interested in more. He might be hesitant because he is inexperienced and/or doesn't want to ruin your friendship. When you're hanging out with him, ask "Have you thought of being more than friends with me?" There is a good chance, but no guarantee, he'll say yes to you. You then proceed from there--with a little more conversation and if he gives the right responses.... I wouldn't just kiss him out of the blue. Discussion about becoming a couple has less potential for awkwardness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2013
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 3:03pm

You might consider pulling a way and making him come to you.   When this happens you can start again in a new, open, no boundries type of way.  You are not really best friends until you say everything to each other.  So pull away and this will give him the chance to reveal everthing he feels and the relationship can really begin.   

http://www.amazon.com/My-Favorite-Person-Non-Fiction-ebook/dp/B006TWOZ5Y