going home
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 09-29-2005 - 12:00pm |
HI everyone :)
Im having some issues with my relationship and would like some advice or opinions. My boyfriend and I have lived togethere for a year and a half. I moved out before I finished High school and I am now 19. I have decided to move back home so I can go to college full time, also I've been having some medical problems and been stressed out. Also I felt like this is the right thing to do, and to wait until if we got married to live together. I talked about it with him and he thought it was what I needed to do, and he wants to go back to college. So he probably will move back with his mother. We have been togethere for almost three years and basically have had a good relationship. No breaking up or abuse. but I have not been as good to him as i think i should have because of being so young and immature. ANYWAYS... the other night he was stressed out from work and was talking about how he doesnt know if we will be able to keep up a good relationship because I am moving home and we are going to be really busy and it is going to cause even more stress in our lives and also my family isnt exactly head over heels about him because of me moving out with him so young. he said he doesnt know if he would want to have a girlfriend that he hardly see and that we might be better off friends but he's not saying he would never want to be with me again. I was really upset by this. but he said he wasnt going to break up with me, and im definintly not going to break up with him.
why do you think he said this to me? Im scared that he might decide to break up with me when i move back home. I think I kinda feel guilty because i shouldve treated him better living with him so that makes me insecure about his interest in me. Please give me your opinion
Jessalyn

The simplest answer is that he's scared of the changes. And unsure that you two will survive the change, and not seeing each other as much. Seeing each other doesn't necessarily keep a r'ship together, however, seeing each other less, and going to school and the such, will cause stress. That just means you'll have to put more into the r'ship. Maybe he's just scared, with all the chnages. I'm sure at your age, it can be very scary. Huge changes. Not sure how it'll affect your r'ship, etc.
I would try to talk to him more. To help aleve both your fears about what can happen. and tlak about what you can do to resolve that. Yes, you WILL see each other less, that doesn't mean it's over. YES you will be stressed, so what, there's stress in many couples lives. HOW will you deal with it, is what will determine the outcome of your r'ship.
Speaking out of fear, is sometimes okay, but if he starts ACTING out of fear, that's not good.