Going insane...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2005
Going insane...
2
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 8:34pm

Ok, I don't usually do stuff like this, but I am honestly completely confused about this guy.
We are both in our early 20's and have known each other for 2 years now. After being separated for one of those years, we are now living in the same area. As soon as I moved back, he immediatly contacted me and met me for coffee and talked for a few hours, about our families, our plans for the future, jobs, and other stuff. Upon leaving, he said that he would see me at some undisclosed time. Well a few weeks have gone by and we have exchanged phone numbers, and I have shared a few meals with him and some other people.He always offers things for us to do, but he never just comes out and asks me to join him. Well, the other night I was talking to him and he said that he never says what he means to say and how he wish he could be able to say what was on his mind. So, I don't know where I stand with him, and frankly am afraid to ask him because I don't want to damage our frienship (although I have say that lately that seems to be almost non-existent... and I can only attribute that to the fact that possibly there is something there, and that both of us are circumventing around a possible relationship... but then again I really am at a loss.)
I left out a fair amount of stuff, but I think that basically sums up the situation.

Any ideas? Thoughts? Comments?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 12:44pm

is anyothername...

Pianoguy is just guessing here, but do you suppose this gentleman feels MORE COMFORTABLE WITH YOU AS A FRIEND...as opposed to a dating partner?

You indicated that there has been a friendship for 2 years....and it's entirely possible he regards you as a good friend. Good friends DO go out, have dinner together, and occasionally participate in mutually satisfying activities. This DOESN'T MEAN a serious relationship will follow?

If you want to make a few plans to include this man in a "group activity" (like a bowling league, book club, sporting event or something that involves several others aside from yourself), extend the invitation to him.

Should he accept it...GREAT! If he doesn't...don't push any further.

What you have between you is just a friendship!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 8:30pm

Does this fellow know how you feel? Sometimes guys don't ask directly because they fear rejection. Do what you can to make him know your answer will be YES to a date, maybe by asking him out even. I have found the best way to get a guy to talk is to talk a bit about yourself first, you don't have to go on and on, but sometimes that's enough to help them relax into open conversation. Sometimes not...

Brace yourself for what Piano Guy said tho. Maybe he just doesn't see you as a girlfriend.