got back with the ex..having issues..
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| Wed, 07-20-2005 - 2:11am |
I will try and make this short since its such a long story..
Me and my ex broke up for 6-7 months and just recently started dating again..3 weeks almost..but i dont know if we got back together for the right reasons.
We went out about 3 weeks ago with some friends and we slept together, i had a few drinks but still yes i did know what i was doing and when i woke up in the morning i definetly realized what i did..now the problem is that i think i pressured him into a relationship because of what happened.
I also feel like he just missed the sex..we started saying i love you right away and even though it feels right and i love hearing it and saying it again, i dont get the same feeling as i once did. i dont really feel a whole lot when he says it, like i feel he says it because he thinks he has too..or because he knows i want to hear it? i just dont feel there is much feeling behind it. i love him, i fell inlove with him the first time i looked at him again. we went out for 10 months, on and off since for 4 years and apart of me tells me to end this and that we are so over and just dragging it on but yet i still feel that i should wait it out and i should be more patient.
I have talked to him about this and all he says is "i love you and want to be with you and i dont feel the need to have this conversation" and for whatever reason i dont believe him, i want to but i dont. am i expecting too much too soon from us starting over again?
What should i do?

Why did you split up in the first place?
If you had good reasons for ending it, unless those reasons have changed, I wouldn't do this to yourself.
It sounds like over all your feeling is that this isn't the right thing to be doing. That you really enjoy the attention and the "I love you"s is only natural, but if you think about it and are brutally honest with youself you may realize you ARE over him and that's why the "I love you" feels good but doesn't feel true. I don't believe we ever stop loving people we love, not completely. They always hold a place in your heart, don't mistake that for the kind of love you'll share with the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with.
It always feels good to have someone say they love you, don't mistake the emotional high you get from hearing those words for real love. Feeling good when someone says they love you causes a similar physiological response to hearing a compliment. It makes you feel kind of warm and fuzzy and safe. But that isn't love, that's biology.
And if your not even getting that feelign from his "I love you" any more then, hun, if I were you, I'd be leaving skid marks on the floor on my way out the door.