great sexpectaions

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
great sexpectaions
8
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 7:50am

When I saw him I liked him very much,he is a college from my work.But he lives in other city and works in the other office.We spent a lot of time together,when he had work in our town.At the beggining I didn't receive many calls from him,but then it got more and more serious.At the first date he proposed me to have sex,but I refused,then we dated many times-he was in my time every week,we kissed,talked,joked...I didn't want to pressure him,he told me that he doesn't want to marry now (me too),but he treated me very well and paid attention to me,he told me that he will wait for our sex.
After 2 months I decided to have sex with him,because fell in love.After great night we reached his room in the hotel.He lied in the bed,waited all from me and I think he was drunk.I was confused,because expected more,but did my "work",as I felt it.But nothing happened,he had problem....
Then someone knock on the door and interrupt us (he was with another man in the room)and I dressed my clothes and went away,he went after me and said - so you did nothing to me!!!
After that he never call....a month passed away...The question is what happened,why everything ended so quickly and why.I really think he was very interested in me,can be the wrong night a reason not to see a girl anymore

Edited 9/16/2005 8:26 am ET ET by the__one

Edited 9/16/2005 8:28 am ET ET by the__one




Edited 9/16/2005 9:40 am ET ET by the__one
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 9:28am
I would love to give you advise but I really have no idea what you are trying to get across. It's not clear at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 9:45am
THank you very much that you read my letter.THe problem is that he never called again,everything ended with that night and I don't know why....
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 10:03am
Well all I can say is that it seems as though men have issues. I don't know why he would do that. I guess he felt that he conquered you and that the quest was over. Some guys are only in it for the challenge and I feel that hat was his case. Unfortunately, that's not fair to you because you are human and you have emotions. I guess it's on to the next for you, sucks I know....especially when you really like someone! good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 09-16-2005 - 2:58pm
Well, my first thought is he is married and almost got caught with the knock at the door. Why he last said nothing happened. Also, it comes to mind that he may have thought you were to easy. You were ready for sex so he just lays there and you still go over and do your thing. Ok, to me I think he lost it there. Why would you give of yourself like that. Many guys I know would want a woman to do that but seeming to freely to give it up is a turn off. As was stated they like a little chase.



































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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Sat, 09-17-2005 - 3:51am
I think that my letter is not very clear,so let me clear the situation...WE DIDN'T SLEEP TOGETHER,because we were interrupted and he had a problem with ...(please I can't say it,but I think you can understand).Maybe it was because of the alcohol,he drink very much,he drunk nearly a bottle of vodka that night.Maybe because of our first time sex,I don't know why.I think that it was time for sex,it was time for me,I was ready and I wanted to because we were very close and it is normal to go on with sex in a relationship when you are very close.I must mention that he is a little shy,he had very difficult childhood because her mother is not in her mind and he has not father,her grandmother raised him.In the end of that night I took a taxi and he said please send me a sms that everything is ok when you go home,but I said no way and went away,because I was really disappointed.After 2 weeks he had aniversiry and I sent sms with Happy Anniversiry,but he didn't answer me....that is all.I don't think that it was a game,he made many efforts to be with me and he told me that it is long time ago when he slept with a moman.I'm not easy at all,I can see when a man want only sex...but maybe I'm a little naive after all.
I tried to forget him,but it is so difficult,because the history is not ended...or maybe it is ended for him.I don;t know what to think,really confused....thanks a lot for trying to help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 09-18-2005 - 3:48am

I think the word you are looking for is *penis* ;-)

My thoughts are that one of the possible reasons for him not being able to get erect would be that he discovered that the chemistry was all wrong between you. And lack of chemistry is a very good reason to not persue a relationship. Or perhaps he felt terrible about not getting an erection and is too ashamed to speak to you.

But in either case, it would have been good manners to speak to you and tell you that he wanted to end the relationship.

However, now that it's all history, you are well rid of a man who cannot communicate.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Sun, 09-18-2005 - 3:58pm
Sometimes men can have difficulties with erections because of nervousness with the first time being with a woman that they really like too. I know not all men can perform when you want them to at the drop of a hat and especially first time sex can be nerve racking for some men. I agree that he might not have called because he could have been very embarassed about what happened but like the previous poster said, you need someone that can communicate his feelings to you, not just disappear out of the blue. It could have been something else too, but you might not ever figure out the reason. The best thing to do is to move on. I don't think that you were being "easy". I believe when you fall for someone there is valid reason to have sex with them as long as you spend some time falling for them and getting to know who they really are, but sometimes no matter how much time you get to know someone before sex even if it's several months, there is still a possiblity that the guy will do a disappearing act on you too. Not sure why a guy would go through so much trouble for a few months trying to get a woman in bed and then leave but some people are just devious by nature and odd like that. It's a risk that you take I guess. Hugs to you and hopefully you'll meet a man who is willing to communicate with you next time around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 9:10am
We'll see us again,because he is a college from my work.But I think that it will be too late then.Why man are always late when it comes to love:)
never mind,I'm ok now.THanks a lot for so many great answers and help