Guy Needs Help Understanding Girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Guy Needs Help Understanding Girl
11
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 10:37am

Ok ladies, help me out. I will give you plenty of info so you can have the full picture. I think I know women pretty well, but this one has me a bit confused.

I'm 38; she's 33; both divorced once. I am a financially successful, descent looking guy, well built/muscular, great dresser - a little bit metrosexual; think Jeremy Piven with glasses (not a hunk, but not bad) - I would give myself a 6 to 7. She is very attractive, by anyone's standards, at least an 8 to 9 on the 10 scale.

We met online (Match.Com). We had a lunch date (met there). I asked her to a dinner date (I picked her up); spent 3 hours together; good time. Next 'date', I invited her to hear a band I'm friends with. We were just meeting for that, and she brought her Mom by to meet me (she told me her Mom said 'I was a good one'). I passed the Mom test. Lastly, a couple nights ago we went to a great concert together (Rob Thomas). BTW, she gave me a picture of herself before the date. On the way back she brought up me taking her to a banquet/ball a couple of weeks from now. She has initiated emails and calls with me between dates. Sounds like it's going really good, right?

Here is my massive confusion. I don't touch a woman until she initiates it in some way. You girls grab my arms (I have large biceps), give that big smile like "gosh I'm so glad to be with you right now". This woman has occasionally touched me, rested her arm on my shoulder for two seconds once while we were in the car, but that's about it. No, I haven't tried to kiss her; it just hasn't felt right. I date a lot; I kiss on first dates if it's right; I'm not a shy guy. I can tell when a woman wants me to kiss her. She has talked about a couple of 'experiences' in the past, so I know she's not a prude or just totally shy. We've talked about future stuff, likes/dislikes. If I bring something up that a girl might would think would 'disqualify' her as serious material (for me) she covers her bases. For example, I scuba dive. She said that she's not sure she would want to try that, but she would be happy hanging out on the beach or boat while I did that. Make sense?

But something is just weird here, and I can't put my finger on it. My gut tells me she just doesn't have emotion for me in a 'sexual' way (because I haven't gotten those glowing eyes too many times or been touched), but on the other side, she sees all of my great qualities and is afraid to let me get away. Is she just hanging around to see if she can fall in love with me??? Or is she just taking it REALLY slow because she met me online (and maybe since we have so much in common - it seems too good to be true). She told me I'm the first guy online that she has really dated. She's made contact with a couple, but I'm the first to go out with more than once, and I'm the first that she has given directions to her house to pick her up for dates, etc...

So, do I need to give this more time, or he she just killing time with me until someone better comes along? Please ladies, be brutally honest. I would like to get tons of replies.

Jeff

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 11:47pm
I am a female who wants the man to make the first move. IMO, if a female makes the first move, then she's never sure if he's 'just going along for the ride', or 'is this something he really wants?'.

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