Hardest Part is the Night
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| Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:14pm |
I met this guy Joe at work. We were in diff. depts. and on diff. floors. In a sense my whole dept. assisted his dept. and the assignments were random. One day I was assigned his project and that is how we met. I called him for a business issue and just as I was going to hang up, he started asking me all these questions: where do I live, how old am I? It turns out he thought I was 25, but I was 29. That's when he mentioned his birthday was next month. He was going to be 34.
I asked Joe out by emailing him and asking if I could by him a drink for his birthday. I can't believe I had the courage to do that. I guess the email made it easy. Before we made definite plans, our depts. went to happy hour on a Friday (with a dance floor). We were all dancing but he and I were dirty dancing and kissing in front of everyone. We had our own date the following Monday and I bought him the drink.
We each had 2 beers when he started to kiss me in the bar. I was very shocked because we were sitting at the bar and people were sitting right next to us. The bartender was right there, too. I don't kiss like that in public, so I pulled away and told Joe I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. That is when he told me he was engaged for 2 years and broke up a year ago. He only wanted to have the fun bachelor life for that time being, which was fine with me. Of course I liked him, but I had been single for a while and didn't mind having a new guy friend who liked to kiss me. <<>>
We continued to email for a while and had a personal joke that kissing would relieve the stress from work. Our second date was 1 month later and we mostly kissed (nothing else). I got promoted to his department one more month after that. I had liked someone else during that time, so my feelings for Joe were gone. He and I were co-workers who only said hi and bye. I was there for a short while but the situation with my crush didn't work out, so I started liking Joe again. (sorry this is sooooo long)
Then I got the call of a lifetime for a job offer. You see, my job before that one was outsourced to India so I sent out tons of resumes. This company had my resume on file for about 3 years. So right after I gave my 2 week notice, I saw Joe in the elevator and told him I was leaving.
This is where I feel stupid. My crush had not worked out and I knew Joe only wanted to have fun since he told me so. I emailed him and said I wanted to kiss him goodbye. He called my cell phone which really surprized me. He never called me all those months. We arranged our second date through email. I thought he deleted my number from his cell, but nonetheless, his voicemail said he wanted to see me. I called him back and we made tentative plans. He said he would call to finalize, but never did. So I waited a month to call him just to say hi. I knew not to mention seeing him. He brought it up, which was good, but same thing. He never finalized anything. We got to talking about a mutual friend from the department I left when I got promoted (comes in to play later in this post).
Like a fool, I called Joe about 2 months later because someone else from the dept. where I used to work quit (where Joe was still working). This guy's new job was near my new job (I saw him on my lunch break). So I called Joe to tell him about that. Then something happened to our mutual friend and I called him again, only to inform him of what I learned. That's when I found out he's on myspace.com.
It's been over a year since our dirty dancing. Now that he's on myspace we both discovered we liked 80's rock and still do. Also, he was WILLING to answer all those surveys. Anyone here on myspace and also get those shared bulletins with 50 questions? LOL. He answered them all.
We also discovered we both have a niece and nephew who are almost the same age. We exchanged pics and he replied he wanted to see pics of "my body." I thought, oh, maybe he wants to kiss again. I emailed him again (my fault). He replied and wanted to see me.
We kissed each other but HE backed away this time. He confessed he's still talking to his ex-fiance. It's been 2 years since the breakup and they still talk. He told me he still loves her. I was flattered that he felt comfortable telling me private info like that.....
We continued to talk about other stuff and it came up that he had a casual fling with this girl I worked with (in the dept. where I got promoted to). I had only known her a short while since I had quit shortly after being promoted, but OMG, I was shocked!!!! I was so HURT!!! I haven't seen her since I quit and don't even keep in touch with her, but still.
Should I continue to be his friend? I felt stupid calling him all those times. Maybe gossip is to blame for keeping us in contact, but who knows? Then we spoke about myspace. He was the one to request me as a friend. One time I called him at a bad time and he said he would call me back. He actually did. It's obvious he loves his ex, but he didn't cut me off. He could've easily not answered his phone when I called. Now he's 35 and I'm 30 - I just can't imagine talking to an ex, an ex-FIANCE, no less, for 2 years. What should I do?
thanks for reading so much
