Is He Cheating?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Is He Cheating?!?!
4
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 5:31pm


For alittle background on us.....


I've always been insecure because of the way I was done in past relationships. Ricky knew about this too. So from the time I got preggo til' about 6 mo. ago I always accused him of cheating. Whether it'd be, numbers being called while he's suppose to be at work, pic of girls on his phone, and messages on his voicemail. Well everytime I accused him, he has denied them. Which eventaully I accepted that it maybe the truth. So we moved out of my home and moved into a place together. We were doing so good. He even put a ring on my finger and we set a date for May 12 2008. Things have ben so amazing good!!


Now- the down fall...


I knew money was tight because he's not been able to work weekends and bring in the extra money. Our car payment was due Saturday and I kept asking him is it paid and he said yes. I knew better because his paychecks are only about $330 a week on just 40 hours. Our car payment is $415. Plus, he just paid $100 on 2 phones we just upgraded to- the same day the car payment was due. Well he changed his password to the checking account but I could still get into his credit card accounts. I wanted to see how he was paying the car payment. Well apon looking at one of the credit card accounts, I find a credit card transaction that was placed Feb. 21st. Thats a Tuesday and I didn't go to an Outback Steakhouse with him. Besides, he was suppose to be at work! WTF?!? I confronted him about this and he gets mad because I looked at his accounts. I told him that I could care less that he's mad because I looked. Well he tells me it's over and hung up on me. Well I finally get ahold of him again and he says he didn't do that and that he was at work. He says he's gonna find out why there's $35 charge from Outback when he didn't do it! I think it's BS cause' in order for someone to charge it to his card, they'd have to have his card. He's never spoke of his card missing.


I don't know what to do. I want to believe he didn't do it and is honest with me, but how do you explain that? He's always checking his accounts, he had to see that when he looked! He swears he didn't see it. I don't want us to breakup...but I don't want to be with someone who cheats on me and lies to me.


Please tell me what you would do!!


Hurt & Confused...


LilMama

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XMasTag.jpg picture by Mommy2Bratts

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 10:53pm

What concerns me is that you automatically assumed that he was cheating. If I found that same transaction and my partner said that he didn't know anything about it, my first assumption would be credit card fraud.....because I TRUST my partner. One doesn't need to have hold of a credit card to do a fraudulent transaction.

So the issue here is not the credit card transaction itself but why you assumed that he lied about it. I'm not saying that he did or didn't lie because only he knows the answer. However, if he doesn't persue the restaurant or credit card company for an answer - then it would be a fair assumption that he IS lying.

Which brings me back to this: You said >>Whether it'd be, numbers being called while he's suppose to be at work, pic of girls on his phone, and messages on his voicemail. Well everytime I accused him, he has denied them<<

What's the story with this stuff? What exactly have you found in the past - and what about his denials made you believe him? Could you tell us WHY you believed him instead of your instincts?

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 2:23pm

Thanx for your feedback!

XMasTag.jpg picture by Mommy2Bratts

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 7:17pm

Do you really love him? If not then you should say forget it and move on. But if you love him and he means a lot to you then you should work it out. BECAUSE there are children in it with you it just not you and him so you have to thank about these thing. But good luck and I wish you make the right choices.


Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 8:05pm
definetly something is wrong.if i were you next time you find a number tell him before that you want to call that number.but don't tell him and let him have time in between.if he says "no" then you'll know he's hiding something.its possible for him to cheat anytime.i was with this guy one time for like 3 months and he spent like everyday with me and i found out he cheated on me with like 10 chicks.so i would definetly look into this more.and if he is cheating don't take him back you'll find better! good luck hun!