He is how old????
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He is how old????
| Mon, 05-09-2005 - 11:19am |
Would you date someone 30 years your senior? Why or why not? Do you think there is much different in how old you are when the person is so much older? What if you were say 60 and met a guy in his 30's do you think that can work? What age gap would you consider to much?



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I couldn't do it. Either way. I married a man who was 7 years older than me, I felt a gap there already. I went on a date with a man, who I thought was fairly young, but then he told me about his career on Wall Street, um, he was a junior partner at a law firm. Meaning, he's already had TWO CAREERS, and I was barely 20.
I honestly don't think I'd date anyone that was more than 7 years older, and more than 2 years younger than me. Granted, if I didn't KNOW how old he was and I fell for him, then obviously I may change my mind, but if I was going online to date, my range would be a year younger, to 6 years older. lol.
~pineapple_girl
I wouldn't date him, and I doubt I'd really be friends with a man who was about to retire. mostly cuz, my dad just retired, my aunt's are just retiring. To me, that's a WHOLE age gap there. I don't normally "get along" or "click" with men that old.
And usually when I do, it's because they want to bed me, and are ACTING young, and DATE young women.
I could've been "traumatized". lol. I say that, cuz I ca'nt think of a better word. basically, when I was 18-22. Men who were in their 40's hit on me all the time. I felt it was disgusting. Men who had children my age, or even older. Gross.
I have a friend who's a co-worker, who's about 14 years older than me. He's great. However, I'd never get involved with him, because I think I'm closer to his oldest daughter's age, than his. And well, that right there is a huge turn off for me.
Sorry, but to me, age matters. And no, I wouldn't ever get past it, no matter who he was or how wonderful we got along. Shallow, maybe, but I think it's great that I know my limits.
~pineapple_girl
In some cases it depends on how much life experience you have. My SO is 7 years older than I am, but I'm 47 and he's 54. If I were 23 and he were 30 it might not work as well. No I could not date anyone with an age difference of 30 years. Just knowing I was old enough to be his mother would turn me off. I would not want to subject a 30 year old man to me as a 60 year old woman. That's a bit much. Most 60 year olds are starting to slow down physically. A woman has gone through menopause and may not be as sexual. The eyesight may be bad. Illnesses will crop up more frequently. It would not be fair for anyone, male of female, of that age to expect a much younger person to take on what would basically become an aging "parent".
I dated a man for a short time who was 15 years my senior. That was too much. I felt like I was with my dad. He was a whole other generation away from me.
Age and dating, I guess, is pretty much whatever two people can handle (as long they're both legal. LOL).
Personally, that's WAY too big of an age difference for me to deal with. I would hate to fall for someone 30 years my senior only to lose him in ten or twenty years (I'm 33). Not to mention we're just in such different places in our lives. He'd be ready to retire and I'm just getting started.
Obviosly, 30 years younger would just plain be gross, but let's say soemthing that seems more reasonable like 10 years, I'd still say no. He'd be ready to get out of college and find his first job. I'm established in my curent career and readyt o start looking at starting a diffreent career.
I know I don't want children. I man 7-10 years younger then me would be in no position to make a decision like that at 23-26. He could change his mind, then what happens at 30 when his nesting impulses kick in and he decides he wnats a family but I was 33 and already knew what I wanted when we met.
I think the most older I would have gone is 6-7 and younger maybe 3. My fiance is about a year and a half younger then me, but we are at the same place in our lives. I think that's really what matters most.
When you start dealing with large age differences it's hard to compensate for the differences in lifestyle.
I'm curious, "A man 7-10 years younger then me would be in no position to make a decision like that at 23-26."
Why do you feel a man would be in no position to make that decision? I made the decision about not wanting kids when I was like 13. Would you just assume a person doesn't know themselves well enough, at that age, which is understandable, but yet, judgemental?
Just curious.
~pineapple_girl
Bad question for me to weigh in on...my ex-husband was 19 years older than me.
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?
Honestly, I think it's a bad decision to set in stone at any age. You never know how life will change, but yes, to answer your question I think that your mid-twenties is way to young to say you know something that important for absolutely certain.
I've been inclined not to have children since my early twenties, heck when I was 5-6 while all the other little girls were pretending to be pregenant I was pretending to adopt, even then child birth held no appeal to me.
But even at 33 and getting ready to marry a man who isn't inclined to have children I still wont say absolutley not. Who knows, maybe my clock will suddenly kick in and I'll be yearning to put my uterus to use in another year. I just can't say for 100% sure.
Though spending Mother's Day with family and having my niece and nephew under foot for a mere four hours was enough to make me want to inquire about having my tubes tied.
I just know that in your twenties you think you know it all, you've got life all figured out, then the quarter life crisis hits and you realize you don't have a clue. All the stuff I thought was sooooo important at 25, 26, even 27, seems pretty trivial now.
I've realized I'm NEVER going to have the answers and I've discovered that to a point, accepting that and accepting that I have virtually no control of anything is actually pretty awesome and actually probably more "THE ANSWER" we search for then all the answers we think we've found.
Something tells me I'll be looking back in another ten years and realizing I didn't have a clue at 33, either. The big difference is that's okay with me know.
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