He is how old????
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He is how old????
| Mon, 05-09-2005 - 11:19am |
Would you date someone 30 years your senior? Why or why not? Do you think there is much different in how old you are when the person is so much older? What if you were say 60 and met a guy in his 30's do you think that can work? What age gap would you consider to much?



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Thanks I was just curious. Mostly because having known at an early age that I didn't want kids, only to have older women tell me I'll change my mind (and they still tell me that) or that I'm too young to make that decision, well, it just boils my blood. Of course, I don't like being told what I can or cannot do. And having them tell me I'll change my mind or things will change, you watch, I tell you, you'll change, it would just anger me more.
But I do agree, at that age, things that were important aren't anymore at 30. Or what you thought you knew, you didnt'. And totally 100% agree with this....
"Something tells me I'll be looking back in another ten years and realizing I didn't have a clue at 33, either. The big difference is that's okay with me know."
btw, I DID get my tubes tied at age 29 because it's one thing to assume someone else will change their mind and not to base your life around THEIR word, however, since I know myself, I went forth with the operation, so when I do get serious wtih someone, he'll KNOW I'm dead serious and no, adoption is not an option. My xh changed his mind, and I refuse to marry and divorce for that same reason twice. Oh, and he was 32. lol. Guess age doesn't have much to do with it, sometimes, does it? (oh and I wished I had gotten them tied a LONG LONG time ago....just didn't realize it could be so cheap -- health insurance covered it. So the decision was made at 29 due to my health insurance, not really due to my age.)
~pineapple_girl
I just know that life is a very uncertain thing. I think, to a point, to think any of us might not change our minds under the right circumstances about any number of decisions is niave.
Like you I will probably have my tubes tied. I'm waiting until I'm 35, becasue I decided that I was comfortable deciding that if I DID change my mind and decide to have kids I could always adopt. Since the risk of birth deffects and difficulty getting pregnant increase exponentially after 35 AND there are SOOOOO many beautiful children out there who could use two good parents, why risk so much to have one that's biologically mine, besides I get to avoid labor that way.
I know what you mean. I can't tell you how many people have told me how much I'll be missing out on if I don't have kids. The truth is I just that I don't much like kids. Most of them are noisy and obnoxious and yeah, yeah, yeah, mine wouldn't have to be like that blah, blah, blah.
I don't want 'em. The kind I can give back are alright for a while, but I like being an Aunt. I think i'd be GREAT Mom, I just don't want to be on. If one day I should be possessed by a sudden urge to create a family I'll deal with that then. In the mean time I think it's best to leave the popping out of babies to those who actually WANT them instead of trying to force people like you and me to joing the "baby makes three" club.
Why on EARTH so many people try to convince individuals who do not want to have children that they will change their mind AFTER they have one is beyond me? What happens if they DON't change their mind? It's a little too late then now isn't it! Personally I think it's an evil plot. YOu know that saying "misery loves company." :)
As you can tell, I'm 99.5% sure I don't want kids.
The important thing is always just doing what feels right and comfortable to you after weighing the optiona nd consequences (which HOPEFULLY most people can do at 19, though I'm not sure some can even at 55). If a 25 year old guy had told me he didn't want to have kids and that he had a vasectemy I would certainly hope he was comfortable with the choice he made and believe he knew what he was doing as long as he didn't make rash decisions on a regualr basis.
Of course, my fiance's sister and her husband thought they knew what they wanted when they decided HE should get a vasecetemy after having three girls. Five years later they decided to reverse it and have three more. They are on number FIVE now. Yes, FIVE, I think my fiance's sister must be part brode mare. :)
You never really can tell, life is a REALLY uncertain thing. Which is why I listen to my Mom and "never say never, because you never know."
"You never really can tell, life is a REALLY uncertain thing. Which is why I listen to my Mom and 'never say never, because you never know.'"
That's EXACTLY what I say too. Never say never. And like you, I figure if for some odd reason, when pigs fly, and cows to go the moon, I want kids, I can adopt. I'm happy with my four-footed furry kind.
Thanks for sharing. I was just curious. :)
~pineapple_girl
Not a problem. Those of us that don't want rugrats should form our own club and start trying to convince people not to have kids that being able to kennell your children and go on vacation and being able to buy a new bedroom set instead of buying braces for Suzy is very fulfilling. :)
There is a club. lol. It's called No Kidding. hehehe. Seriously, there is.
And I LOVE being able to kennel my son and go off to Hawaii for two weeks. I am going to love being able to kennel the children and take off for the weekend to Europe, or the Bahamas, or wherever we want. :)
New bedroom set? Nah, we want expensive cars. lol. I remember once, someone said that my dbf's car ($60k convertible) was a waste of money and that money could be used better elsewhere. And I'm like, where. Cuz we don't want kids, where else would it be used? I mean, our goal is to have a Cayenne, a Mini Cooper convertible, and BMW 5 series. I mean, yes, that's lame, to some ppl, but to us, if we can afford it, and that means no kids, we are 100% happier, right? lol
And yes, a new bedroom set would be cool. I saw a REALLY REALY REALLY cool one, totally contemporary, which we love, for like $7k. lol. Granted, I would NOT buy that right now, or in the next couple of years, but hey, if we can afford it, instead of little Suzy's braces, why not, right? What is so hard to understand about that? LOL
~pineapple_girl
As long as we have COMPLETELY hijacked this thread...
Why is it that soooo many people feel it's neccessary to tell those of us who choose nto to have children how selfish we are being to want things instead of children?
I don't know it seems a LOT more selfish to me to have kids and then stick them in daycare for other people to raise while both parents work so they can have vacations and bedroom sets AND still afford little Suzy's braces. I mean isn't THAT selfish. Wouldn't the child they brought into the world benefit more by having a parent at home then by having a new bedroom set or going to Disney World evvery year?
But somehow people like us are the selfish ones becasue we choose to not follow the beaten path and pop out kids simply becasue we can.
It's truly odd how insistent people can be about how another person is going to treat their body and spend their money.
Totally hijacked, sorry Marie.
I agree. I see us as being selfless, because we are indeed NOT bringing a child into this world of which we don't want one. I am NOT putting a child thru a bad childhood because I never wanted to be a mom, or am a bad mom. Or worse, I treat my child like s/he was never wanted.
I personally think it's a selfless act, to the unborn child, that we do not put them through that type of childhood, like OTHER children are, because mommy and daddy, "just figured having a kid was the next step" or something lame like that.
=)
btw, you do know there's a message board for ppl like us (child free by choice). right? it's a wonderful place to vent, or even fence sit.
~pineapple_girl
My take on choosing to not have children.
I was just talking to my bestfriend about it last night. I was raised that having children is the thing to do. Well, I know it is not for everyone and if I could go back I would have choosen that road. I am happy for my son and love him to death but that is why he will be an only child. I do not have the patience to be a mom. I am counting down till he is 18. My friend and I mentioned to some it is a great thing but it is not for everyone. I do not understand how some people could be so rude and think you must want children or ask why haven't you had them. It is a personal choice and it fits you. Ok, let me get back to work. I am swampped and may have to stay late.
Marie,
In all honesty, women like you, who realize that one is quite enough, are the ones that can understand us. It's the women who feel babies are their life, or their children are their entire being, or parents and grandparents who EXPECT babies, are the ones that push it.
So, thank you. For being open-minded enough to know that it is indeed, NOT for everyone.
~pineapple_girl
Ooooh... I have to jump in on this hijacking thing.
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?
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