Help me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
Help me!
2
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 9:24pm
OK, I have this guy I have known since elementary school. I lost contact with him during/after high school....we were in different groups and spoke on occasion but never really hung out because of this. Fast forward 10 years....I recently received an email from him through classmates to see how I was doing and stuff. He has moved 1000 miles away since high school while I am in the same place. We both have been married and divorced and both have custody of our little boys. Both our marriages ended badly his more recent than mine so I am not sure if he is having cold feet as he said he really got hurt and didnt ever want to feel that way again and this is when we were just speaking as friends and nothing more. But then things got mre seious. We talked on the computer and phone for a few weeks like everyday and have discussed everything and have gotten pretty close...talking about what we want kids, marriage and thngs and we feel the same way and wanted to see where things would go if we persude it. He asked to fly my son and I down to him and I responded that I would like to but I have school and finals for the next month and with Christmas coming I wasnt sure when would be good. He understood or so I thought and said that he is busy with work and his son also and that we would figure something out....well since then we havent been in contact much, mainly on his part...I have called and talked to him and I have emailed and havent heard much. Did my response push him to think I am not interested or is he not interested anymore....I need help and guidance not sure what I should do now? I really need help so I hope that someone reads this soon and responds...not sure what way to go with this


Edited 11/12/2005 6:03 pm ET by i_brandy77
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
In reply to: i_brandy77
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 8:56pm

Hi Brandy,

Maybe he is going through some difficulty with his ex-wife and his son recently. He maybe trying to figure stuff out and he may be honestly busy with things right now. If this is the first holiday season with him and his ex-wife seperated his son maybe having alot of difficulty and so that maybe taking up some of his time. Did you also ask him if there was something you said or did to offend him in some way? There may be alot of things going on being recently divorced that he needs to straighten out. I doubt it has anything to do with you. Just give it alittle more time and see what happens. I hope this helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2005
In reply to: i_brandy77
Sun, 11-13-2005 - 9:41pm
They have been seperated for 2 years but I am not sure how long it has been final. He did say that work was pretty crazy right now, and I know from experience myself being a single parent is not easy and takes some time to get used to. And he being a single dad I am sure is more difficult and harder to manage time until it becomes natural. His son is 4 and I know that he doesnt go with his mom until April so I am not sure. I have not asked if I said something wrong but I guess I will make the call to fond out once and for all so I can ease my mind. Just didnt want to seem pushy but I am concerned and know that it is difficult sometimes. Afterall he is the one that contacted me and wanted to pursue things....so I am not feeling that it was so much me at this point thanks to you and your advice. I will keep you informed....