HELP please!!! attracted to boss

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
HELP please!!! attracted to boss
2
Sun, 06-12-2005 - 10:08am
hey everyone and thanks for reading. i need some advice -opinions on whether my boss likes me. I have been dating my b/f aaron for over a year now, and the last 3 months or so we've been fighting almost daily. i started a new job a month back and i've found that i've become extremely attracted to a coworker, who happens to be the president of the company i am working for, so he's my boss. he is 28, i am 20. the first time i saw him i thought wow, but didn't really think anything more of it since i'm in a relationship. thing is, the guy i'm currently with is NOT the guy for me, and i know that....problem being, we are living together until september. we've been kind of obligated to stay together. we've both wanted to break up at times but have been forced to reconcile due to the living arrangements. i know deep down this guy isn't the one for me and i'm ready to just end it and move on with my life. but i can't for another couple months. What i want to know is, from what signs my boss has given me, is he just being a nice guy or does he like me?
At work, our offices are somewhat adjoining (kind of hard to explain) and when we are sitting at our desks, we can talk back and forth easily but cannot see eachother. where i work is kind of unique b/c we use msn messenger to communicate around the office. So anyhow, since i started working there we've always had a sort of playful relationship - the printer is in my office so he comes in all the time, we make little jokes and use a lot of sarcasm...but lately, i could swear he's been holding his gaze longer, we smile and hold eyecontact. i'm in major lust- i think. but does he want me? Our office is small, and the last week due to resignations and family emergencies, there was only 3 of us in the office-my boss, one other older girl named mel, and myself. so my boss and i had more of a chance to talk, and i noticed he's been coming through my office more, and making lots of small talk. On friday, he messaged me over msn for the first time (we would usually just talk , since our offices are close enough we can easily hear eachother)..he was talking about going shopping etc, and he was jokingly saying he should give his credit card to me and i could be his personal shopper..just little playful remarks like that..he's always asking about my plans etc (he found out i have a bf, but didn't really seem to bother him). so anyway, friday at 4pm, only 1 more hour til the weekend.....the other girl left, and it was just my boss and i. we ended up chatting (flirting in my eyes!!) over msn, for an entire hour until we left at 5 (and we continued chatting in the parking lot). He is the president of the company, yet he was messaging me so he obviously knew and it didn't bother him that i wasn't working. then yesterday (saturday) he messaged me for the first time outside of working, just asking about my day etc and we just had a short convo, including a couple smiley faces and a wink from him (however i use them all the time too) I don't know if he is just being friendly and reciprocating my playfulness, or he is actually interested. is there anyway to tell? what do you think? help , please!!!!!!!!1
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2005
Sun, 06-12-2005 - 10:09pm

Sounds to me, like he is interested in you. He has taken on an interest outside the work arena. That's a certain sign. ( i had an affair with my boss, last year.) I would suggest that you take things VERY slow. Let him lead. Don't appear anxious at his advances. But if you like this guy, a dinner invitiation and/or a movie ( ALL at his request, of course.) - I would say, should be fine.

The greatest fun my boss and I had was actually, playing calm and cool as if nothing was going on - while at the office and around other co-workers. It's as if we were living doulbe lives. We got the biggest kick out of it. We LOVED it. And not to mention, how "stimulating" our little office act, was for the both of us.

Jazzi

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2004
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 11:34pm

Just please please be careful... You are 20. He has 8 years on you, and yes-- 8 years makes a difference. I am not saying that you are naive or anything, but he has a position of power and he is older than you. Take things very slow, and let him make all of the advances. Don't put yourself in a position where he can take advantage of you.

In all honesty-- even if you are MSN messaging with him... don't answer him right away. Let him know you have a job to do, and that you ARE doing it. Remember that even if you lust after him, he is STILL your boss.

I am not saying to back off completely. A little flirting is ok... but play it totally safe. If he asks you out, go out with him, just be careful so you do not get hurt.

If you have not seen the movie Bridget Jones' Diary-- rent it soon, very soon... you'll understand why. Two words: Daniel Cleaver.