He's being distant
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|Wed, 06-17-2009 - 2:23pm|
My fiance and I have been bickering a lot the past 4 months...over the same issues regarding kids, buying a house, etc. The constant bickering has taken a toll on him and he's become unsure about our future. He said it's difficult to think about kids and a house when we're so unstable. We had a big breakthrough Sunday night though and I'm trying to stop pushing for definite answers on how many kids to have or where to buy a house. After all, life has a way of not always working out the way you plan it.
Anyway, my issue now is how distant he's been. I know he's pulled away because of the bickering, but I wonder if he's become so detached that we won't ever be able to get back on track. We just aren't as goofy or affectionate as we used to be and I can't tell you the last time he tried to be romantic with little love notes or texts to let me know he's thinking about me. He used to tell me all the time how beautiful I am, but now he points out hot women on tv. We don't really have much to say to each other anymore and sometimes I feel like I'm forcing a conversation. We still have sex, but it's definitely not as passionate as it once was.
I know that over time as people get more comfortable in the relationship, the excitement wears off. But I feel like he's not making an effort anymore. His daughter stays with us every other weekend, so naturally we try to take advantage of our weekends without her to do stuff together, spend quality time. However, last weekend when we didn't have his daughter, my fiance went golfing all day Saturday and Sunday morning. He has recently taken up golf and was excited to use his new clubs, so I cut him some slack. But then he said he'll probably try to go golfing as much as possible on the weekends without his daughter. So when exactly are WE supposed to do all the things we talked about...fishing, amusement park, kayaking, etc.? To top it off, when I asked if he missed me since we didn't spend any time together that weekend, he said you can't miss somebody when you see them every day. Because we live together, he doesn't get to miss me.
He seems content to go about this with a wait and see attitude, while I think we need to focus on each other and spend time together to fix us. I know we can't go back to the beginning and all the intense feelings. And I know from experience that when I've begun to detach from a relationship, it has always ended in breaking up.
Can anybody give me an outside opinion on what might be going on with him? Is this the beginning of the end? Has anybody been in a situation where their relationship has hit rock bottom like this and they've bounced back?