his mixed signals

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2005
his mixed signals
4
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 1:38am
I've been hanging out with a very good male friend of mine recently. We've been friends for over five years now and within the last few months our friendship has changed. He has introduced me to his brother and his wife. I am now decent friends with them and we all go out sometimes together. He calls me more than he use to, he even called me today to see what I was doing and to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving. We haven't had sex or even kissed but when we are out in public he doesn't look at other women or express interest in other women even when they come on to him. I feel like he wants more with me than just my friendship but he hasn't made a move at all. He even said all he wanted was a friendship and so I assumed he was after a sexual affair with me. Still he has never made any kind of sexual move to me except to touch my back when we are leaving bars or to hug me when he leaves for the night. I am not exactly sure what he wants and it's very confusing. I've kept it really casual between us hoping he'll make the first move for our relationship to become something more. I don't want to try to push him into anything if he is only being friendly towards me. Please help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 9:15am

sexypoet24...

Pianoguy thinks the only way you'll get 'peace of mind' or at least a little closure on this question...IS TO ASK YOUR FRIEND WHAT HIS INTENTIONS ARE???

I would think you could at least carry on a comfortable conversation together since you've known the man for 5 years!!!

He'll let you know if there's ANY passion that he needs to share with you? And then again, he might just hold to the "let's just be friends" line he has been telling you for 5 years.

Prepare yourself for either!

Good Luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 11:06am
I am curious, is this the same guy you posted about on the Guy Talk Board? With your two posts I am stumped on a response from you because they do not relate at all. So if you could clarify some more for me.

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2005
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 10:10pm
Sorry for the confusion everyone, the guy I mention in the "ment to be" message board is a completely different guy than the one I posted about in the "guy talk" message board. I am actually juggling three guys currently. The one on the "guy talk" message board is my lover, the guy I wrote about on "ment to be" has been a friend of mine for years and I have a close confident and friend that I haven't mentioned yet but am confused about his intentions also. I am a single female with only one lover and several men who seem to be "interested" in what I am not exactly sure. Which is why I turned to these message boards for any feedback, I am lost and confused. Thanks for all your advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sat, 11-26-2005 - 12:23am

(responding to your posts #1 and #4)

>>He even said all he wanted was a friendship<<

I'm going to sound terribly old fashioned here, but perhaps he really only wants a friendship with you. But I am curious as to how you made the leap between him saying that he only wanted friendship and you assuming that he wanted a sexual relationship with you.

I've got to be honest here.....you say that you've got "ONLY one lover" and you're quite prepared to give this long term friend sex without any commitment. Meanwhile there's a THIRD guy on the scene. Perhaps your friend does find you physically attractive, but he may view your tendancy to have a number of men going at once as a red flag?

If I were you, I'd stop sleeping with friends. A little restraint in who you sleep with - and avoiding having FWB situations/lovers - will leave you looking far more attractive to potential suitors.

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