How do I learn to trust again
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| Mon, 01-23-2006 - 9:27am |
Hi,
Backgrounder, 37, 16 yo daughter, had been with my ex husband for 13 years, married 8, when he left me for another woman. Never saw it coming, total shock.
That was almost 2 years ago now, I have now been with my new boyfriend for 6 months. I love him very much, and he feels the same way about me. We are together most of the time. In fact, I think he went out maybe 2-3 times with his friends since we met. And not because he can't go, he just doesn't.
The only issue I have really, is the computer. He used to work with AOL, so obviously he loves computers. He is now an electrician, so does not use the computer during the day, so usually at night he will go and check his emails, browse the net a bit, and has his MSN Messenger open if friends want to chat with him. Like he told me before, all the people on his list have been there for years, way before we met. Co-workers, friends, etc.
Why do I get sick to my stomach everytime the computer is involved. Maybe because we met online dunno. However I know he is no longer on dating sites, I've checked them all periodically ha ha. And of course he has a password on his login, but even if he didn't I don't believe in snooping, I really want to know how to learn to trust.
The guy never gave me a reason not to trust him, and like he said, it's not like his cell phone rings and he talks on it secretly, or he sneaks out or goes out all the time, he is with me almost always, we practically live together now. The only people calling his cell are his ex wife, (they have a kid together), his parents, brother and a few buddies. Besides, why would he cheat, it's not like we're married or have kids together or even own a house together. So I know it is irrational.
I can't help but think it is all related to my past experience, how do I shake it - I have talked to him about it of course, but he feels it would be controlling of me to ask him not to chat with his friends anymore. He tries to not overdo it, but when I think of it, really it is not his problem, it is mine. Any tips? You can be blunt I can take it.
| Mon, 01-23-2006 - 12:48pm |

