how i know
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 04-17-2006 - 11:38pm |
people always say you know he's the one cuz you just do. what a horrible explaination! every time i thought i was in love before i would just say, "oh yeah i know cuz i just know it!" it was quite easy to convince myself. but now i kinda think (and i have learned that you never really know anything for sure...) that I am pretty sure about this one. here's how I KNOW that I know....
It's like there's a checklist in your brain that has always been there.. and its completely checked off in your brain when it happens. your brain knows it before you realize it.
- its not so much butterflies, bliss and passion as it is appreciation, acceptance, and patience.
- "problems" or fights are more like bad days.
- you feel no rush, like you have all the time in the world.
- you understand nobodys perfect, and you learned to distinguish what flaws are tolerable from him, and what is unacceptable and you tell him so.
- you are always on his side, and he is on yours. even when you fight, later on you are always sorry even when it is not your fault. and he is too, even when its not his.
- hes the one you daydream about.
- kinda like a really great job... it's not always easy, its not always fantastic, but you know in your heart its the very best thing for you and what youve always wanted. you know its what will make you happy.
- you really don't have much to complain about him.
- he doenst necessarily "complete" you, but complements (not like he says nice things to you... but thats nice too) you.... where you fall short, he is strong. and where he falls sort you are strong as well.
- you just get along happily and well MOST of the time (like 6 out of 7 days, or 9 out of 10 hours of the day)
- you have similar values and beliefs.
and for some reason this one the most easily confused....
- you never question it.
because actually, you will always question it, no matter what. if youre smart, anyway. but if its right, you think that questioning it is silly. its like questioning suicide. besides, even if you do break up, its still like he will still be there beside you in that soul universe thing, being "the one"... without you... what would you guys do? separation makes ne sense. its like peanut butter without jelly. the thing is im sure that most all couples feel this way too...
if its not, then you just can't decide. do not let this fool you though smart ladies.... its easy to fool yourself. if you are asking yourself this question, ask yourself.... "what if he stays like this forever?" can you handle it?

i LOVED your post.
i was actually thinking about this earlier this week, and i thought... i don't have butterflies and tingling all over... does this mean i dont love him? and i thought to myself.. no, it just means ive moved to a different and stronger feeling. thanks!