how long to wait

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
how long to wait
3
Thu, 11-17-2005 - 3:27pm
Do you think it matters how long you wait to have sex? Will a guy still be interested in you if you have sex on the 1st 2nd or 3rd date or have you lost all grounds for a serious relationship developing?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: buffistw
Thu, 11-17-2005 - 3:33pm
Depends on the guy. Many I have met it really hasn't mattered because I let them know beforehand I have it set in my mind before going out if I will sleep with them or not and will not have a problem approaching them if I wanted to. They liked me being aggressive and I have the guys I was a good girl and they waited and waited but the top was a guy waited for 6 mos before moving on except those who just accepted that I wanted to be just friends because they did not get any.

Marie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: buffistw
Thu, 11-17-2005 - 3:40pm

I married a man I slept with on the first date. So no, doing so is not *necessarily* fatal to the possibility of a serious relationship developing.

That said, I don't do so any more...I prefer to wait until we've dated about 2 months or so (unless I'm just looking for a casual fling). The reason for waiting is, I tend to get emotionally attached to men I'm sleeping with, and those feelings cause me to suspend my normally good judgment. As a result, I end up in over my head emotionally with men who are not a good match...which I would have known if I'd taken the time to get to KNOW them for a couple months before sleeping with them!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
In reply to: buffistw
Thu, 11-17-2005 - 5:16pm
I agree completely with Sheri on this one. I'm exactly the same way, I try to wait 2 months or a little longer to get to know a man better before I sleep with him because sex is attached to emotions for me as well and I don't like emotions clouding my judgement of the kind of person I'm really allowing myself to commit to. I have a friend who slept with this man on the first date and they are married too so I think if a guy is really interested in you to begin with and looking for a r'ship not just a fling, it could last even if you sleep with him early on. With this new man I'm seeing I'm going to try to wait until sometime later next month before he leaves for his deployment so it will give me more time to get to know him a little bit better before I decide to sleep with him. I think what it all boils down to is how comfortable you feel with the time frame to sleep with someone and how comfortable you are with that person. How soon varies from person to person.