How would you rate it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
How would you rate it?
9
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:06pm
On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your compatibility to the current person your dating, engaged, married, etc.. to? I had never thought about it, but yesterday my bf asked me how compatible we were and I said "compared to what?" because it was something I never thought of. Heck to me I am compatible with a lot of things for different reason so it was strange but he thinks were a good 8 but I am still wondering compared to what because I look at each relationship and person differently. So tell me where you think your relationship is on the scale and why?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:55pm
I think we are a 7 or 8 in compatability. We are pretty much in tune with most things and always willing to compromise. I could probably go even higher but there are a couple things that make me think we are more of a high 7 or 8. Are you looking for specific things that make us compatable?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 3:40pm

In a book titled, "are you the one for me" by barbara de'angelis, she tells you how to make a scale, list, and score yourself on a 100%, so as not to compare to other men, or anything.


i.e. there are 10 categories, and you choose 5-8 things that are important to you, that you value. like in the family category, I'd write children (don't want any), parents (good r'ship, w/boundaries), siblings (get along, don't need to be close), us (we are a family), holidays (how to spend them).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 4:53pm

I am just wondering what things make you feel that you two are compatible?

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:24pm

Well, with respect to personality, interests, etc, we're probably a good 7-8...he makes me laugh and I feel very comfortable and relaxed when I am with him. But we're about a 2 with respect to compatibility in regards to what we want from a relationship...so I'm grappling with whether I should stop seeing him or not.

Sigh.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:33pm
I guess those are some of the things he was thinking of. Because, before he asked we had just left his family's house where I was playing with the baby and someone mentioned "oh wouldn't you like to have one, you two should have one." with my response being "I don't like
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 5:36pm
The biggest problem of dating isn't that?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:30pm

I'd take the book, The Hard Questions, and use those catagories on where to start. You don't even have to share the book with an SO. Just read the questions. and ask yourself if you guys have talked about it, etc, where you'd stand. Children, Family, Religion, Family, Fun Time (as in partying, clubbing, etc, or not), Pets, Money, etc, etc, etc.


It's great to find out how compatible you feel a man is to you. I mean, for me and my bf, we're compatible on almost every level. and those that we aren't, it's not much difference, and we just compromise. Like he loves to go out to nice expensive restaurants. I could pass. But, we agreed to save up money every week, and go out as soon as the money is there. So, he's happy, and for me, it's not every week, or even every other week. :)


BTW, compatibility doesn't make the couple completely, I believe compromise is huge in there too. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 7:42pm

Oh Boy this should be good considering my posts from the past few weeks!! LOL
But here goes, and beleive it or not I would say an 8. I say that because him and I share alot of the same interests, we have the same opinions on raising children, and MOST things in life, we tend to view the same. For all the issues we have had, one that is never a problem is arguing. We've rarely had an argument that I can even remember.

The only place we lack, is that communication thing!! LOL But while Im here Id like to say its getting alot better! I dont know if he was struck by lightening or bumped his head, but since I stepped back and decided to make me first hes a whole different man!!! LOL I never even have to pick up the phone and dial, hes there everyday placing those calls!! I guess my little talk with him about me wanting him to make this relationship a priority (i learned that word from wingblade/erin LOL) if he wanted to continue it and make it work, did some good.

Good luck with your rating poll. And id like to add this is alot of fun, these types of posts. Keep them coming. They are refreshing as opposed to problems all the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 5:18am

>>I am just wondering what things make you feel that you two are compatible?<<

It's really hard to say. I suppose that I'd have to give our relationship a 9. People say that marriage is hard work - but ours isn't. Quite the opposite - it's really easy and comfortable. One of the posters said that it's not just about compatibility, but compromise too - and I agree. We both have that right amount of give and take figured out.

I remove the only point for our sex life. We're both seriously tired at present (work, his studying and renovations), and it's so not happening. But never mind, it will get better in due course.

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