I got it bad for co-worker

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
I got it bad for co-worker
Sat, 11-21-2009 - 1:06pm

I started a new job a couple of months ago. I was scheduled for training with one of the department's colleagues. I was attracted to him immediately. Ever since, our flirtatious banter and back and forth has definitely heated up immensely.

At first I was really cautious because I've never in my life had any feelings like this for a co-worker. I try to ignore him whenever I can, because when I don't I get nervous like a 15 year old around him - complete with the crazy red flushing face. As long as we keep it semi-professional with an occassional flirtatious chat I'm ok.

The problem is I think I really am falling for this guy as I cannot get him out of my head or my dreams! It is really quite ridiculous and I feel like I said - like a lovesick teenie. I'm 45 years old!

We are both single and he went out of his way to let me know he was. He calls me "honey" in a playful way and flirts with me endlessly. Whenever I need his help with something he is right there and very up close in my personal space, plus he compliments me all the time on little things. The chemistry is just incredible!

I was really torn back and forth and wasn't sure if I was reading something into this that only existed in my imagination. So I resisted making any kind of moves on him at all. But after another three days of him spooking around in my dreams (and me not wanting to wake up!) I said to myself "Enough is enough!" and called him after hours.

I'm sure I sounded like an idiot when I asked him: "Do you think it's ok to ask a co-worker out?" His immediate response was, "So you want to ask ME out?" And I said, "Maybe". His response: "Wow, I wasn't expecting that I'm really surprised."

Long story short, he agreed we'd go for a drink when he gets back in the office (he works there only half the month, the other half he's in another office about 500 miles away) and that we'd "talk about it".

Ok, I told him that he didn't have to agree to go out with me just to be nice. I'm an adult and can take a NO. His response: "I'm a grown man (he's 48) and I know what I want and don't want. Nobody can make me do anything I don't want to do. So we will meet for drinks and we'll talk about it."

I don't know if I should be happy that he agreed to go for a drink because now I'm thinking he didn't want to give me the brush off on the phone. HOW awkward!! I'm scared of my own courage now... I'm thinking to myself, WHAT did you DO!!!!????

On the other hand, what if he really is interested?? My goodness 45 going on 15. How embarrassing!!

Anyone have any thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Sat, 11-21-2009 - 4:30pm

Courage is never a bad thing. You set a ball in motion and that's good. I hope the date goes well for you!! Sounds like it will.

I won't make comments on dating a coworker because that's not really your question. But why are you afraid of feeling giddy like a teenager? That's one of the best parts of dating someone new :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
Mon, 11-23-2009 - 10:52am

Personally, I'm not a fan of co-worker relationships. However since you two are older, you never know. I would say go for it, but don't put too much energy into it.

If he likes you, he'll make that clear to you, he'll want to take you out. Plus, he'll remind you of it. But if he's agreeing then forgetting or ignoring the "lets go out for coffee" offer, then the answer is no, and you need to take it at that. You put the ball into play, now lets see if he returns it. For now, I wouldn't try to remind him, or call him, and don't put too much more into it.