I have a question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2005
I have a question
2
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 8:39am
Hi there,
I thought I would post this here because I don't know anyone else this has happened to. A few months ago, I met someone online. At first, I didn't think too much about it, I just saw him as a chatting buddy. Over time, however, we have become closer, and I have really enjoyed our talks. The only thing that is out of the ordinary is that he is from Egypt and I am from Canada. He is a wonderful person, and appears to have a family and many friends who love him (I have seen friends, family, even twin neices on cam). More recently, he has been talking about possibly coming here to see me. I didn't think too much of it, but then he received a job offer that was offering a lot more money and a shorter working year in another country (farther east). His thoughts about this new opportunity were that if he took it, he would be able to earn enough money and have more time to come here and try things out with me (and maybe even settle in the country). He asked me what I thought, and I said not to do it solely for me, but if he wanted to do it, he should. I kind of surprised myself, but when faced with that question, I felt strongly enough about him that I would like to have him here. Anyway, so within days, he has accepted the offer and is now packing up his things to move to another country for 9 months (he has never left his country before in his life). So now, it is really sinking in to me that he is serious about me, and I am very impressed and endeared to him for all this that he has done to give us a chance. However, I am a bit apprehensive about this only because we have met online, and I don't know the extent of the cultural differences, and how they will affect our lives or relationship. I have asked him many questions about the differences between our two ways of life, and his answers have been very enlightening and reassuring, and have changed some of my misconceptions about foreign culture. I have always held back a bit with him for this reason, and he has been extremely patient and gentle with me. My intuition tells me that he is completely trustworthy and a great well- rounded (friends, family, work, music, sports, community) guy. I guess we would never know until we tried it out. My parents would probably freak out because of the differences (especially the religion one) and this is also in the back of my mind. My question is, do I go for it, or not? Is there too much to overcome, or am I making it harder than it needs to be? What do you think? Thanks so much for your thoughts!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 9:50am

inducedrose...

It's only Pianoguy's opinion.....but if the man you're interested in ISN'T LIVING WITH YOU and is only coming for job-related purposes....there's no harm in getting to know him! Hopefully....you AREN'T opening your house and entire life to a man you only know through the internet?

All relationships take time. And what appears to look GREAT in print...might not look as good in THE FLESH?

You can't base the success or failure of a friendship (or a relationship) on words. So assuming the man is self-supporting and is as nice as you've indicated....why not let the time you spend together determine if the two of you are truly right for each other?

Good Luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2005
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 10:26am
You're right on the money, pianoguy. I feel the same way. I am just asking, if, even with all the cultural differences should I give it a shot, and recommend that he come here one day? Don't worry, I am not basing all my emotion on just the chatting. :)
Thanks!