I need advice...is he going to come back

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2005
I need advice...is he going to come back
4
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 8:08pm

Ok, so Jason were together for a little over a year, we have had our share of ups and downs. I am a single mother of 2 kids and I own my house. He on the other hand has no kids and does not own his own house. Now I have been feeling used lately. For example: since February I have loaned his over $2000, he has paid me back. Also there was a time when he went to a friends wedding and did not come home until 6 am the next morning. I was so mad and I told him that if he can not respect me enough to call me then it was never going to work. Since then we were doing good, then all of a sudden he says that he thinks he is fine and does not have to change anything about him or what he does. I was in awe...then he moved out. About a week later he came up to my house and had some lame excuse (he asked for his bologna and bread) then we got back together and everything was perfect...that was until this past weekend. I don't know how it happened but we were talking about how I think we need to be adults and deal with things like adults. We need to learn to control our fights and not just take the easy route out all of the time (him moving out) He left for his 2nd job and when I called him to see if he was going to come over he was all mad and said that I should call up one of my ex's and hang out with them since I was not with him anymore. Now he won't talk to me and I don't know if I am supposed to move on or not. I have been calling him and leaving messages because he won't answer my calls. He still has stuff at my house and I don't know if he is going to come and get it or not. I have been asked out on 3 dates since we broke up and can't go through with it.

Any advice would really be appreciated......

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 8:40pm

I think you'd be best off moving on. You did nothing to address the underlying issues before you got back together last time...and he thought you were ok with that, because you took him back after all! So it wasn't a pleasant surprise to him when you brought up the issues (I'm not saying you were wrong to do so, just that they should have been discussed BEFORE you got back together, even if it meant you didn't get back together).

He probably will try to get back together with you if you stop calling...but I'd think twice about that! He doesn't sound like he's interested in being in a committed relationship.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 6:05am

I agree. This relationship doesn't sound like it's worth saving.

I'm also wondering about your role modelling. Would you like your children have a relationship like this? Because they are going to see what you do and follow in your footsteps. Set a good example for your kids and show them that one doesn't have to settle for second best.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 7:39am
I agree with the other posters. Move on, pack up his stuff and ask him to come get it. He doesn't seem very mature or even very willing to TRY to be more mature. Go out there and find a guy who is ready to be mature.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 10:08am
He sounds emotionally unstable to me. It must be really hard on you with him moving in and out. It's like you get your hopes up and then nothing! I agree with a previous poster you should have talked things through befroe you got back together but what's done is done. I think he will come back but that thhis will be a cycle for him. It's up to you if you are strong enough to stop the cycle and put your foot down. This is hard b/c in the process you may really lose him but atleast you'll find yourself! Good luck!