I need some direction/advice please

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2012
I need some direction/advice please
5
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 6:09pm

Well, my situation is a bit strange, to say the least. I have been getting over a nasty breakdown of my marriage(it's been a little over a year). And we had 3 children. A teenager and 2 younger siblings(5 and 7 yrs). I have at the year mark, moved my children and everything I had to a new place to have a completely new start. I have started getting back into the things and hobbies that I like to do. And my children notice that I'm happier for it. Also, since the split I've been getting back in touch with old friends from high school and my college years. Due to my work schedule a typical day is getting up and being out the door before my kids wake up. And then coming home 2 hours after they've gotten out of school. I get alot of help from my family members. And am eteranlly greatful for their love and support.

Recently, I had started to get back into touch with an old high school friend. We completely lost touch after graduation since he moved back to his hometown after graduation. And yes, due to Myspace and Facebook we did "find each other" again. We were aware of each other but never really "connected" again until this last Spring. The reason? His wife passed away. I started talking again through various posts like everybody else. Though I'd never met her. But I myself have been through trauma like that. I lost my younger son a while back. And my posts were said through someone who had experienced the same thing. This week hit the first year mark for him.

Now, the reason for my worry about our friendship is that some of his family members and friends warned him against "people who manipulate the emotionally vulnerable". I hadn't known about it until after a mutual friends birthday party. It was the first time that I had decided to actually attend something I was invited to and not blow it off and stay home. I hadn't expected him to even be there. This was also the first time he and I had seen each other since high school. If looks could've killed I would've been many feet beneath the Earth. Probably buried alive even. And all I had donw was smile. Say, "Howdy stranger", hugged and then in all seriousness gave him my condolences. After that episode I attended a fundraiser that he held. I purposefully ignored him. When I went to register I told the person my name and she asked me if we'd met? I said, "No Ma'am". Sorry, am a Southerner. It's in our blood. And she looked at me and swears she'd heard it recently. It was his wife's mother! I

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 9:39pm

I think other people just need to mind their own business.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2012
Thu, 01-05-2012 - 9:47pm

It def sounds like you like this guy. If thats how you feel than just follow your heart, but if you don't wanna move to fast than let him know when you two decide to really sit down and talk about things. The way you put it, it also sounds like he likes you too. Just give him sometime to contact you back. Good Luck with everything!!!

www.findingfreedomteam.com/ KLittle
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2012
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 12:10am

I do like him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2012
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 12:15am

I know it sounds really stupid about worrying about what others think. Because we're taught not to. But they are his close friends and I just don't want any drama. I'd had enough of that with my ex. Between his online gaming friends and his family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Fri, 01-06-2012 - 11:47am

I can understand your discomfort. When I met SO's closest friends, I was ridiculously nervous. I knew how close they all were, and I wanted them to like me. They all knew the situation with his ex, and none of them cared for her in the least, so that made it easier than your situation.

Good luck and give it time, keep the lines of communication open :)