I need your advice...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2005
I need your advice...
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 1:10am

I'm not sure if this is the right place to come to...but I'm not sure which category this falls under. I only ask of a couple things. Please do not judge me on what I am about to tell you. And I would appreciate any advice you may have.

I am 21 years old, single,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 2:10pm

I know you don't want me to "judge" you, obviously because you feel what you're doing is wrong. So my perspective is going to be for your sake, not because of morals.

He's basically telling you that he's willing to cheat on his family. He's waiting for you to give him the go-ahead. I know he's told you that he's unsure about his family situation, but it's really not up to you to judge or give advice to him. I'm sorry you feel chemistry with a guy who is unavailable, but sometimes life sucks and you can't end up with the guy you like at this particular moment. You are inviting him to cheat by hanging out alone. If you continue down this path, the choice will be made for you. And once you start, it's going to be a lot worse, a lot more confusing, with a lot more consequences. He's keeping you on the line because he feels enough chemistry to cheat with you but he can't leave his wife-to-be and baby.

I hate to say I have been there and done that and regret every moment of it. You are tempting the devil here, and no matter what, you will come out of this situation as either the homewrecker or the loser. There is no good that can come from indulging this chemistry.

"I also told him that I didn't want to get in the middle or anything and that I didn't want to start any trouble. "
If you really didn't want to start any trouble, you would be leaving him alone.

Again, not a moral argument, but you are really hurting your own life by tempting this situation. If you continue the way you're going, it is inevitable that you will end up cheating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 7:21pm
This guy is not to be trusted, and he obviously wants to get laid outside of his "regular" relationship.
He has a baby on the way and ready to be engaged? Seriously forget about it! and quick!