I wish I had a clue
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| Mon, 12-12-2005 - 1:21pm |
This is a messy one. I was seeing this guy. I work with his ex so it was all a hush hush thing. He didn't want her to know because she would call him and annoy the crap outta him.
Any way this was also a long distance thing. She found out about us, called him and me. Of course neither one of us admitted to it, but at the same time neither one of us knew what the other had said to "her" so we just didnt call each other for over a week. I assumed (which unfortunatly I do way to much) that he didnt want to talk to me. So I musterd up the nerve to confront her about it. Well she called him and told him. Mind you I still had not talked to him for over a week, and the only reason I thought it was over is because he happen to call her instead of me. Now he called me the next day all mad and stuff about me telling her about us. I tried my best to explain to him why I had done what I did. I told him I was hurt, confused, and felt emotionally drained. I also told him that I had felt that if I was not going to hear from him again and I had to work with her, better to clear the air with her.
Anyway, He told me he missed talking to me for that week or so. He has been calling me like a million times a day. Telling me where he is, that hes gonna take a nap, telling me he woke up from his nap, what he ate that day and all sorts of things just like nothing ever happened. But the minute I question him on it (as I did when we were "together") He gets all defensive about it. So I'm just a bit confused here. I love him as a friend. I enjoy talking to him. But he is moving away and I'll never see him again. But at the same time if he said I'll buy if you fly I'd probly jump on the next plane.
He told me the other night to call him. (keep in mind I have not dialed his phone number since Thanksgiving Day) He said he wanted me to call him because he was sick of being the one to make all the calls. I want to call him, but I guess I'm afraid of getting close. When I didnt hear from him for that week or whatever it was I made a decision to get over it. And I told him that.
I know it all seems very confusing.... trust me try living it. Why is he hanging on if its over? Or is it?

Why did he get upset when you told her? Why did she get upset?
Sounds to me as if they still have feelings for each other and he wants you as a side dish.
You're never going to have peace from these two. I imagine it is draining.
He sounds like he's leading you on.
If I were you, I'd be done with him for peace of mind. He sounds like he's playing games with you and not telling you the full story.
ok since I last posted. I have both sides of the story. He never really "dated" her persay. I always thought she was too pushy with him. He told me not to tell her in the first place because she would call him non-stop. She had done it before. Kinda like making stuff up about one of his other ex-girlfriends so he would dump her. On top of that she admitted to me that she intentionally broke him and this other girl up. He tole me he always thought she was a little on the psyco side. Now that I have compared notes with both sides I totally see it. She would drive by his house when I was there. I think I may have made her feel uncomfortable when I told her that me and him had watched her drive by on 3 separate occasions. Because its not like he lives close to where she lives heck its like 30 miles away. So she was not just "in the neighborhood".
So here he is still calling me. Like a million times a day. Kinda like nothing happened. But when we talk about our relationship its always past tense. We have talked about all the things we had done wrong. We actually got alot of things out in the open that we were to afraid to say to each other before. Like we both thought that the other wasn't sure what we wanted out of the whole thing. Come to find out we both wanted the same things. He admitted to me all he wanted was me. I still look forward to him calling me everyday. That was one thing he told me. He said "If I only wanted sex from you do you really think I would call you just to tell you I just woke up?"
But now a new question arrives. What are we doing now? I would love to have some input from someone lookin in.
If you two think it's over, then the way that you two will act is as if it was over.
All I hear is that "we talk on the phone", "we talk on the phone", "we talk on the phone". You two need to make memories through new experiences. A relationship can only go so far without ACTING progress. Take a vacation or do something different for a date. If you plan more future things together, it might just kick up the spark of what you two think of your future together. When you stand still, it's easier to look at the past.
Also you'll destroy your relationship if you persist on keeping yourself closed, like you've been doing. How do you expect to let someone's love to get to you, if you close all your doors and windows?
I hope this helps.