im back. please help
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 05-30-2005 - 12:46am |
So, I found out there was a little more to her past than she first told me. Over the weekend we talked again. I found out she wasn’t with 8 guys, but instead 9 guys and this also included a foursome with 2 of the guys and her best friend. So she was with 2 other guys and a girl at the same time.
She told me she lost her virginity at 18. I got with her when she was 22 back in November 2004 and we have been together since then.
So at 18:
Guy #1 there is the guy she lost her virginity to
Guy #2 She had a one night stand in cancun during senior week
Guy #3 She meet when she came home from cancun and had an on and off relationship she says went on for 3 years.
Guy #4 She slept with got pregnant and had an abortion. She is still 18 at this time.
Now around when she was 18 - 19:
Guy #5 slept with him, don’t know whether it was a one nighter or what
Guy #6 Had a foursome with. Which included Guy #5 and also her female best friend.
Don’t know what ages these happened during:
Guy # 7 Had a one night stand with some guy when she went to go visit a friend at college.
Guy #8 The softball coach. She said she slept with him twice and wanted a relationship at the time with him but he didn’t she stopped sleeping with him.
Guy # 9 Her brothers best friend, who is also a close friend to the family and bartends at the bar that sponsers the softball team.
So she said that is now everything. 9 guys, 2 of which where in a foursome with her.
I still have to see Guy #8 when ever she has a game and GUy #9 if he is working at the bar or at a major family event. She walked down the aisle with him at her brothers wedding for example. I was her date to the wedding. BUt she was in the wedding and so was he.
We have been together now for 8 months. We are living together. I loved her before I knew all this. I still love her now that I know, but am bothered by it. How could she give herself away soo freely to these people who didn’t care about her??? Also how could she degrade herself and be used by 2 guys in a foursome???
Im soo confused, hurt, angry and depressed.
She was crying telling me this. She was crying saying I think she’s a whore slut girlfriend. She said all she wants to do is love me and be with me. She said she wants to get married and have a family with me. Saying all she wants is me and she said if I leave her her heart would be shattered .That that is her past and she is over it. And she regrets all her mistakes and would never have been with anyone had she knew she would have met me.
How can I get over this? I love her, but don’t know how to put this stuff out of my mind.
Im very serious about this post.
What should I do??
Seek therapy?? How could therapy make me forget something?
Try Hypnosis?? Tell the lady I want to be hypnotized and to wake up forgetting all about it?
Please help. I’m really hurting.

Pages
Okay, what is degrading about threesome. Three consenting adults all enjoying themselves sexually. I've never even had one but I don't see anything degrading about it.
I see something degrading about her having to beg oyur forgiveness for things she did before she ever met you. I see something degrading about her being willing to beg to keep a man in her life who is being unneccesarily cruel and judgemental.
But consenting to be part of an experience that all parties found to be mprally acceptable (at leats at the time) and mutually gratifying. That's not being degarded that's called living and trying something new and different.
Maybe I'm missing something let's see according to Websters degrade means:
1 a : to lower in grade, rank, or status : DEMOTE b : to strip of rank or honors c : to lower to an inferior or less effective level d : to scale down in desirability or salability
2 a : to bring to low esteem or into disrepute b : to drag down in moral or intellectual character : CORRUPT
3 : to impair in respect to some physical property
4 : to wear down by erosion
5 : to reduce the complexity of (a chemical compound) : DECOMPOSE
intransitive senses
1 : to pass from a higher grade or class to a lower
2 of a chemical compound : to become reduced in complexity
It seems to me she's only "degraded" in your OPINION. She wasn't degraded by what she did, she's degraded in your OPINION. She is now "lower in grade, rank, or status" in YOUR eyes.
That's YOUR problem, HER problem is that's she's putting up with all this crap from you and that for some reason the OPINION of a man who seems to think it's his place to stand in judgement over her actually matters to her.
I feel so VERY sorry for her. I sincerely hope she dumps you before you destroy her self-esteem any further then she's already let you. You obviously don't care about her at all, all you care about is yourself and how now your in love with a woman you see as damaged goods and beneath you're standards.
This is so sad...
You don't love this woman. And I agree with Nick in that what's really sad is that she has to degrade herself by putting up with this from you. Begging your forgiveness for something that happened in her past to keep you around.
She experimented with sex, and you can't get over it. Despite the fact that you slept with 35! women. And now you have her crying and groveling to keep you around. so sad.
Pages