I'm in love but he's not 'there yet' ..

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
I'm in love but he's not 'there yet' ..
62
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 9:53am

I have been seeing this guy for 2 months, I'm 36, he's 45. He has had 2 bad experiences in the last year and has been extremely hurt. He says he is still guarded because of this, and is still not 100%. However his actions are telling me otherwise.. I was away for a week and he missed me, was counting the hours, picked me up at the airport etc. Says the more time he spends with me, the more he likes me, he spends most of his free time with me, and if not with me, calls me regularly, (at least once a day but usually more), etc. He even told one of his best friends (the wife told me) that he thinks he's 'getting hooked'. However this week when I told him I think I'm falling in love with him, he says that he's not 'there yet', that he can't say those words yet, says he knows he will love again and be able to say these words again, but just not yet.

One one hand I tell myself that actions speak louder than words, and he is definitely showing interest. He told me some people fall in love faster than others, and he knows he cares about me and is lucky to have found me. He's even talking about future plans i.e. christmas etc. Should I be worried or is it normal that some people take longer to fall in love than others?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2004
(((Rapunzel))) I'm sorry. He's a piece of crap. No decent man would do that to his girlfriend on her birthday of all days. How low. Move on. He wasn't the "one."
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003

Thanks

I try to focus on his negative sides, but all his positives end up resurfacing, and of course, I miss his affection, his hugs & kisses, his sweetness, etc. He used to hug me tight all the time, and it felt sooo good. I miss that so much.

Deep down I know he might not be the best man for me, but my heart tells me otherwise. Crazy huh..

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