I'm REALLY confused.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2004
I'm REALLY confused.
2
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 12:55am
OK, I have an odd situation here that I could use some input on. It's a complicated situation, but I'll try to sum it up as much as possible. I'm in the process of a divorce from an abusive husband, we've been separated for a year. I met a wonderful guy over Labor Day weekend and we hit it off really well. We started dating, he let me know right off that he wasn't ready for anything "serious" (he was hurt badly in his last serious relationship). He called several times a day, we spent time together every other day or so, and were inseparable on weekends (except when he went out of town to go deer hunting). He was sending "serious" signals like always sitting right next to me and constantly having some kind of physical contact with me; we spent a lot of time with his family and a lot of time with his guy friends (who all like me). He didn't want to meet my family though. I decided to just let him control the pace and gradually stopped calling him and would just return his calls, never initiated any physical contact, never asked him to go out; and he continued pursuing me. Neither of us dated anyone else, but we discussed that if one of us did meet another person that we would let the other know. So, over the course of 2 weeks, he stopped doing all the little things that gave off "serious" vibes and stopped calling except for once a day. Then he went hunting with one of his friends and didn't call me when he got back in town. A few days later, he said he "wanted to be single". We agreed that we'd like to be friends, and we even went out that night. Now he calls me 2 or 3 times a day, even when he's out of town; and we've already gone out 3 times this week. He even acted concerned about one of his friends wanting to hang out with me over the weekend. He still hugs me and calls me sweetheart, and when we've been out this week he has tried to hold my hand and he's done that weird little thing where he hugs me to say goodbye and then kisses my head. I know that he isn't seeing anyone else yet and he doesn't seem like he wants to see anybody else. What is his deal?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 5:13am
What does he say when you ask him about it?
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2004
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 7:24am
Well; we haven't really talked about it too much. It's only been a little over a week since we broke up.I'm very shy and I have a hard time expressing my feelings (especially after the abuse I dealt with in my last realationship). He has said that I'm the nicest, coolest girl he's ever met and that he really likes me and he loves spending time with me. I don't really want to push him too much by asking too many questions, I don't want him to feel pressured. We're in our early 20's, both recently got out of the military and are back in college, I think he feels like he needs to get things sorted out more. I don't want to ruin my chance for a great friendship by being stuck on wanting to be with him and reading too much into his actions, but he really is a great guy and I do have feelings for him. I don't know - should I just give it time and see what happens, or should I try to talk to him about it?