Interesting situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Interesting situation
2
Sat, 06-18-2005 - 8:06am

I was with my boyfriend for a little under 6 months when we broke up. I initiated it because he just didn't show enough interest after that amount of time. We never once fought or even argued and we cared about each other, but he was just floating along and I had to do all the work and effort....or at least 90% Interestingly enough in ways we were getting closer but in other ways he was more distant. It was an extremely amicable break up but I chose to have the NC thing to help me heal. I really was in love with him.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I sent him an email because I really was ready to talk to him and be friends. I told him that I was sorry I hadn't contacted him and that I needed to heal. He wrote back stating that he didn't like the way we left things but that he wanted to respect my feelings and didn't contact me.

He just got back from almost two weeks in another country for work and had called the day before he left to tell me. And tried 3 times before he actually got me. This morning I got an email from him telling me he was back and asking me if I had any plans this weekend. Did I want to see a movie or something.

Well I almost dropped over dead. He didn't take this much iniative when we were together at all. This was one of my biggest issues with him. This is so out of character for him to actually pursue me in any way and I am feeling pursued. I never expected to hear from him right away (he got home last night) and for him to actually ask me to do something is amazing. I always made all the plans before. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) I am pretty busy this week and told him so. I did give him an alternative night to get together.

Hmmmmm.....it's really got me wondering. Does he want to just be *friends* or is he interested in getting back together. I guess time will tell.




Edited 6/18/2005 8:26 am ET ET by kerstynclare
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-18-2005 - 11:53am

Yes, time will tell but I would venture a guess that he feels it's "safe" for him to initiate plans because you've indicated you want to be friends and that's what he wants too. The pressure of a Relationship with a capital R is off.

Edited to add: I'm not saying that you were wrong to want him to initiate things when you were together, just saying that he wasn't comfortable doing so in that context for whatever reason, so that may be why he's reacting the way he is now.

Sheri




Edited 6/18/2005 11:55 am ET ET by northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Sat, 06-18-2005 - 12:37pm
Could be, anything is possible I assume....Hmmmm