Is it over already??
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 09-04-2005 - 8:17pm |
Is it Over Already?
I am trying to understand as I am beyond confused and so very sad. Two weeks ago, I was introduced to a wonderful man. He and I are in our 40's. We hit it off fabulously for two middle-age career people scared to even date!
We are both professionals and travel during the week but we were already planning our weekends and future trips. The second night we dated we were so comfortable together we fell asleep on the couch watching tv. We were having FUN! The last evening we spent together we drank way too much. I was emotional about my career stress and then I just basically asked him why he had not kissed me when he had been teasing me about waiting awhile before having sex. Abruptly, he left my house not under the best of circumstances--basically stating that I "didn't know what he had been through."
Both of us went through heart wrentching breakups where we were dumped for others...........it was painful for both of us. Anyway, he called me Sunday and stated that the last evening we spent together was "awkward and strange".............I appologzied for drinking too much and for anything that I said to upset him. He said he would call later in the week (this week and it's Wednesday). I have not heard from him, but he does travel.
I guess I am so worried that I have really screwed this up. I am so afraid that he won't call and that I will not have the chance to rectify what went wrong. I have never ever written to this kind of thing but for once since my breakup I was totally smitten by a man and I think he was to. For the first time in such a long time I don't want this to be over..............please advise and many thanks.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, I'll warn you I tend to be blunt...
"Over already" there's nothing to "end" it never really started. You've only known each other for two weeks.
If I was him I'd be running for the hills too. On date two or three you're getting drunk and sharing WAY too much personal information and leaning on him for support, when you two barely know each other. Looking fro mutual support doesn't USUALLY kick in until you know each other better, maybe at least a month or two in and it starts with little stuff.
The first thing you need to realize is this man is NOT your only option, because even if logically you KNOW he isn't, EMOTIONALLY you're responding as if he were. Sure he may be the first possiblity to come around in a while, but there are other opportunities out there IF you're willing to go looking for them. And if you start looking for them, you'll find them in far more abundance then you thought possible and the next time you've known someone for two weeks you wont be concerned about it being "over already" you'll simply move on to the next opportunity knowing if that one wasn't right for you maybe the next one will be.
I am in the same boat. I keep telling myself to find other things to do, and let him call. It isn't working for me. The only thing I can tell you is that is sounds like you need to fix a "make it up to you" dinner. If he says no, there is your answer.
You can't blame someone for trying. Right?
Shannon