Its over but is it?
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| Sat, 04-16-2005 - 11:52am |
Dear Board
I was in a relationship for 5yrs with my first love, during that time our relationship has problems like most couples but then we decided to end it. In feb this year he decided to come round my house 4am drunk telling me he loves me, naturally my parents were very upset at the time he came round as we all had to wake up for work so i reacted in away most people would, i got upset and shouted and told him that i didnt want to know. Two weeks after that happened i realised that i missed him and tried to get things back on track and he told me that he didnt want a relationship with me. he said he didnt love me anymore but he still cared and we could be friends. During this time he was very horrible to me, avoiding my calls, only calling when he wanted to and because i cared about him i allowed him to do it.
On one occasion when i called him a girl answered the phone and when i asked who it was he told me it ws his girlfriend, even though a week ago he told me he didnt want a relationship with anyone. The next day he told me she wasnt his girlfriend and that he just said that, so once again i put my cards on the table and told him how i felt and we could be friends but he has to treat me with a little respect. he said that he didnt know if he could treat me any different so i decided to leave it alone. I sent him a letter telling him how i felt and that if he changes his mind that im there for him. When i called the next day to see if he received the letter his phone picked up and i heard him speaking to another girl. i confronted him about it and he said it was just a girl who was round at his mates house so i believed him. On the 1st april i called him at home and a girl answered, he said that it was his girlfriend and when i started to question him she grabbed the phone and insulted me. The next day he rung to say sorry and that she had no right to do it and that she wasnt his girlfriend and that it wasnt serious. I told him that she must be cos she told me to stay away from her man and he said at the time she was his girlfriend.
I told him to tell me the truth and he stuck to the story that it isnt serious and that he hasnt even slept with her. The monday i found myself begging him to take me back and he said that i wasnt worth all this s**t, so from that i decided to cut all contact. i left a message on his answermachine the next day saying 'that i deserve better and that after five yrs together that it is out of order the way he has treated me and no matter how much i love him, i love myself more and will not be allowed to be treated like this, if he is happy with his new girlfriend that i wish him all the luck in the world'. Since then i havent contacted him at all, its been 10days and i havent heard anything from him.
Even though im getting on with things i still feel that it isnt over cos it seems like he didnt even know what is going on in his own life. friends tell me that if he wants to know he'll contact me and he might come back cos you dont fall out of love overnight and i cant believe that after 2wks of no contact he found someone else. DO you think i should continue on the path of no contact and see what happens or contact him and see if he wants to give it another go?
Lucy..xx

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Thanks for your comments and i am glad to here that your situation worked out in the end. I just hope that my relationship does too!
Your dad designs jewelry? How awesome. I bet that you have a great collection. I used to sell jewelry as a part time job, but i got out of it, but i have a lot of pieces.
Anyway, thanks for your advise! You seem really cool!
I felt the same way. I thought that God would have sent me a guy if that was the way he had planned it out for me. I met no one significant in 8 months! I'm not an ugly girl either...lol got asked to pose in Maxim! lol Anyhow, I met no one and I was like what the hell? Sure enough God's plan was me and my ex. My ex says that I'm crazy for talkin about our relationship on this MB because I'm jinxing it...lol He's crazy! Try and find peace in your heart in the mean time and hopefully time will mend all. Also, my exes mom said the same hting. She was like how she knew all along he really loved me. She's a young mom and she's so fabulous!!! She tells him he should marry me too : D and you know mothers know best ; )
Hi Sherrill
how are you, long time no chat but i totally understand what you mean about work but at least it keeps your mind busy and off your current situation. Anyway i feel like my old self again and i got news as well. Ive met a bloke who likes me big time and the funny thing is i went to school with this bloke, hes the same age as me, has always lived across the road from me but tis only now hes telling me how he feels, can you believe it but he is such a gentleman. he opens doors for me when i leave/enter a room, he even gave my knee a massage as i bashed it redecorating my room (long story) but yeah i am happy but part of me is still keeping my guard up as i feel its too good to be true but i guess im just thinking about my past experiences and think this one might be the same but i doubt it.
As well ive seen my other friend and hes been chasing behind after me which is nice as all the attention gives me a ego boost and helps to rebuild my confidence. Hows things going with you anyway, hope things are looking up for you as they are for me cos you deserve abit of happinest in your life, every woman does especially if shes been put through a whole lot of heartache. Anyway i got to go and get on with work before boss kills me, so take care keep in touch and ill speak to you soon.
Lucy..xx
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