Just Friends; he's not ready
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|Mon, 03-09-2009 - 10:47pm|
P and I met on myspace about 5 1/2 months ago. I'm 31, he's 34. I've been divorced, he's never been married. Neither one of us have any kids. He messaged me to say he like my profile, and we started e-mailing from there. It was just strictly friends, and I even dated someone else for a couple of months. We tried to get together 4 times, and each time, something happened and we never made it to the first meet until the 5th try, 2 weeks ago.
Somewhere along the line while e-mailing, I started being more interested in him, but I never said anything, because I couldn't get a reading on him and his feelings. Then we met, and I was blown away~~my interest translated to real life. We've seen each other 3 times in the last 2 weeks, and I'm falling for him quickly. He says that he's interested in me, too, and is very attracted to me, and thinks highly of me...
We've talked considerable both before we met and since, and it's been established that he's not ready to date anybody, because he's not in the right place in his life to be able to give enough, and he has some job issues/financial issues he wants to take care of first.
He says: "You are much better looking in person than what your pictures depict, can't pretend that I didn't look you all over both times you were over here, and it's been a long, long time since I've had anyone I had thoughts of intimacy towards, of wanting to wake up with, buy lingerie for, etc. and I definitely have those thoughts. We'll say that up front. To find a single, 30something in this city that doesn't have twenty kids and has a solid head on her shoulders is a good find. Worthy of a Nicholas Cage treasure-hunter movie, even. I do like you. In many of those respects. However, I've been walking a thread for too long, and am in this wierd place where everything I know is fully capable of changing directions in one breath. I've programmed myself to NOT be open to the idea of dating anyone at the moment. That may mean that someone wonderful comes, stays, and passes me by before I get my head right, but I'm not on solid enough footing to bring someone into my life just yet, and being alone is better than watching someone crash and burn with me." I fully respect his position, because I also do not want to crash and burn with anyone.
So, my question is, has anyone out there been in a similar situation? As in, being just friends and hanging out and having fun together (with NO sexual contact at all, just hugs hello and goodbye, and sometimes flirting) while letting him deal with his issues, and then had it work out to be a relationship?
I'm just worried that I'm going to get stuck in that Friend Zone, and never get the chance to get out.