just friends? I'm falling for him
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| Mon, 06-27-2005 - 2:22pm |
Hi Answer People,
I have a really good friend named Mike. I've been friends with him for about four years. We've seen each other go through different relationships but now we're both single. We used to talk about our relationship problems with each other and help each other with them. he's a really great guy. He doesn't drink or smoke. He has his own carpentry business. He has a close relationship with his family. Recently, we've been talking almost everyday for at least an hour every phone conversation. He says things about meeting other girls, but not being interested in them. He says he wants to find a woman that wants what I want out of life. He says he wants a woman with direction, one that wants a family. (I already have two little boys to a previous marriage.) He also has a son. He always tells me how much he likes my personality. He's volunteered to go to the park with my boys and I. I just don't know if he's just doing this to be nice or if he is interested. I think he's afraid to make the relationship go any further than a friendship because he doesn't want to lose me as a friend. I'm a slightly overweight, but yet still attractive person and he usually dates very thin girls. He says looks to him don't matter anymore he wants personality compatibility. He told my friend last night that was attracted to my personality more than my looks, but he does find my looks attractive as well. I'm just wondering what is up with him! I need an opinion. Do you think he's interested in more than a friendship? Although I don't think it is, is weight that big of an issue to men? Should I try to talk to him? How do I do it without ruining the friendship? For the most part he is a really shy guy, so I don't know if he'll ever make the first move. I thought about just asking to go hang out some night and go listen to a band or play pool. What should I do?
thanks,
dots

It sounds like you will never truly know if he is interested in you in that way unless you ask him (what previous poster said), because you say he is not a forward man. He might be thinking the same things, but then again, he might just want to be friends since he hasn't pursued anything further, or is afraid to.... So go for it as long as you know it's a risk that could involve awkward moments in your friendship after his knowledge of your interest in a date with him, and prepare yourself for possible rejection. But, if you are true friends, then I would think that things could go back to normal if there are any uncomfortable moments on his part concerning your request and as long as you are okay with being JUST his friend. Then again, you could get the response that you want, but it's always to prepare yourself for a respose that you would want the least.
Although I am a very straightforward person, I am not sure I could broach the subject so directly if I was so unsure as to what he is feeling and his given subtle indications that you could be perceiving differently (although it is probably the best way to find out your answer, depending on your friendship too), but I would probably bring it up in a half jokingly way in terms of him always complimenting your personality, etc....
Let us know what you decide to do!
~~SD~~