Just wanna know

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Just wanna know
4
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 1:16pm
We have heard that many think chatting online or looking at porn for most is like cheating. What a phone sex, do you consider it cheating? why or why not?
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 1:38pm

Personally, for me it makes it different when there is a live person involved. So online pictures, video, magazines... none of that bothers me, but anything where there is another live person they could become emotionally involved with, NO WAY.

Oddly, that doens't include strippers to me. Maybe it's because I've bene friends with polenty of girls who stripped and I've bene to strip clubs and I know that it is atypical for there to be anything more then looking or a lap dance happening. Maybe it's becasue all the guys I've been serious about don't really like strip clubs.

I can't really explain it. I guess that online sex or phone sex just seem more intimiate to me then a strip club or other porn.. more potentially dangerous.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 2:02pm

I basically have the same views as Nick...so long as it doesn't involve an individual, I'm fine with it (well, in moderation at least; if my SO was looking at porn *instead* of having sex with me, then it wouldn't be ok).

I view any interaction of a sexual nature with another person (whether it's on the phone, IM'ing or whatever) to be inconsistent with being in a committed, monogamous relationship. Whether it's technically "cheating" or not doesn't really matter to me...what matters is that both of us have a clear understanding of what is ok and what isn't, and abide by that.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 2:02pm
Yes, unless you're significant other knows what you are doing and gives you their permission to do it, I would definitely consider it cheating. Unless you've discussed otherwise, if you're in an exclusive relationship, you should assume that there's an agreement not to share intimate types of thoughts with another human being. Doing this behind your partner's back is cheating on that agreement. If it's not cheating, then there should be no reason to hide it from your partner.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 8:12am

"well, in moderation at least; if my SO was looking at porn *instead* of having sex with me, then it wouldn't be ok"

Ditto!!!!!