A kiss is just a kiss?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
A kiss is just a kiss?
1
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 9:19am

So...I've been dating this guy for a little while. We are totally in love, and things were going amazingly well, until...

Well, I'm a college student, and I went to a Halloween party the other day where, as college students often do, I drank a lot. My boyfriend wasn't there, since he had to work late that night, and wake up early for work the next day. Now, I would never cheat on my boyfriend, and I would never kiss another man...however...

I was hanging out with my girlfriends, and we were being silly and taking pictures...so my friend Shawna and I thought it would be funny to take a pic of us kissing. It was just a peck. Our lips barely grazed. The whole thing was extremely innocent, and I didn't think anything of it. The picture was more on the cutesy side than on the torrid lesbian kiss side...

So, not really thinking anything of it, I showed my boyfriend the picture. I didn't think it would be a big deal, let alone that it would upset him as much as it did. Besides, I thought, it was kind of funny.

He didn't think so. He was really upset, and asked me what I would think if he kissed one of his friends. My answer (spur of the moment): "If you were kissing another guy, I'd laugh". So we talked about it some more, and he said that a) me kissing someone else (girl or guy) makes it less special when he and I kiss, and b) it makes him wonder how much he can trust me (and whether I would kiss someone else). He was visibly hurt (and crying), and I was just crushed that I hurt him...I apologized, I told him I didn't mean to hurt him...nothing really seemed good enough...

I guess he needs time, but how much time should I expect to wait? How should I go about making this better...I'm kind of in shock right now, and I'm not quite sure what to do...

V




Edited 11/2/2005 11:04 am ET by missdeutschland
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 7:58am

missdeutschaland...

2 suggestions from Pianoguy:

1. The next time you're in the mood to feel STUPID & SILLY...go with your feelings, BUT DON'T report the 'news' to your boyfriend. He sounds a little too 'sensitive' about the fun you're having with members of either sex.

2. You wanna take risque pictures....GREAT! But don't share 'em with your b/f.

Many males (including PG) often miss the humor when it comes to 2 members of the same sex kissing each other. What might seem harmless to you can occasionally be harmful to US.

Call it a 'guy thing' if you want to.

Pianoguy