Kissing Confusion

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
Kissing Confusion
3
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 9:46pm

I have been dating this guy for awhile. We talk every night before he goes to bed, we spend a lot of time together, he has made it very clear that he likes "us". When he is over, most of our time is spent on the couch, cuddling up together (he initiates all physical contact), sometimes falling asleep together (and when he thinks I am sleeping, he lays there and stares at me or plays with my hair). He is a person who has made it very clear that he wants a serious relationship, wants to be married and have kids.

Here's the confusing part......he hasn't kissed me. He is very affectionate and it is definately more than friends.....I'm so confused about this, this is a new one for me. You can tell sometimes he wants to, but I think he gets too nervous? I don't know how to bring it up, and I am not one to be the first one to kiss a guy. How do I handle that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 10:42pm

"awhile" can a multitude of time factors. So here's my input without knowing how long you've been "together".

1) Don't judge too harshly: My XH didn't kiss me on any of our first six dates (it was at the point that I thought "okay, he enjoys my company and that's all there is"). However, once that first kiss happened, it was very difficult to stop.

2) If kissing is what you want, then initiate it yourself, or at the very least bring it up in conversation.

3) He may just want to play it safe. A coworker doesn't get physical (in any manner), until she "knows" the person.

Don't know if any of these will help - just my two cents!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2005
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 6:55pm
Strange that it has gone on so far as 5months but maybe he has seen the movie 'Hitch' it came out around the same time :) i know everyone must be thinking i have flipped my lid but honestly i have heard more than one man bring that subject of the first kiss up after seeing that movie.......maybe try initiating it and see if he follows suit
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 3:54am
You need to take the inititive or you may miss the opportunity. Perhaps he is shy and is worried that your feelings aren't mutual. Let him know - but only if you are prepared for the relationship he wants.