Lack of affection

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Lack of affection
2
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 1:21pm

I’ve been dating a guy for about 5 months, and about 3 months into it we decided to date exclusively. He’s great in so many ways, but a problem I’ve been having is that he’s not affectionate whatsoever unless we’re alone. I’m a naturally affectionate person, but it’s not like I expect him to be overly so. Just holding hands would suffice. The thing is, he’s very affectionate when we’re alone, so this leads me to think he’s either embarrassed or not used to public affection. And by public affection, I don’t mean sloppy kissing or anything – I’m not into that kind of PDA either. Just holding hands.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
In reply to: chnyc77
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 1:29pm
Sigh, it's all become very difficult these days. Apparently, being exclusive doesn't mean that you are a bf and gf, necessarily. In 2009 it supposedly only means that you're not going to have sex with anyone else. I don't know the ins and outs but I don't by the 'unaffectionate' excuse. Does he consider himself your bf, and you his gf? Does he see you two as a couple, or do you just 'hang out' as far as he's concerned? (WHO invented this 'hang out' thing? is it me or is it just such a strange way of describing dating someone? or am I getting old??)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: chnyc77
Tue, 03-17-2009 - 1:57pm

Thanks for the response.


The thing is, he definitely acts like we're in a relationship. And when we've had arguments in the past (nothing major), he always stresses that we'll have disagreements in our relationship but we need to face them instead of withdrawing (I have a tendency to not want to talk about problems, but have made major exceptions with him). I think he