Long term relationships
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Long term relationships
| Thu, 12-08-2005 - 6:31pm |
I think I may have posted something similiar to this. I'm just wondering what are your thoughts. Thanks in advance.
Do you think if a 36 year old man who has been in at least six short-term relationships since his college years (as long as a couple to a few months) will ever get to the point of something long term and maybe something serious? He has had one relationship in college, two in medical school, and a few after that. Does he have unrealisitc expectations of romantic relationships. He seems to equate physical intimacy with emotional intimacy...is this how men are wired? He claims to want to get married and have children one day so I know he wants something long term. He also has some personal issues where he doesn't get along with people very well. He has been twice fired within the past four years from his job because he doesn't get along with co-workers and bedside manners are not good. He doesn't seem to have any real close friends that are long term either. He seems shy, reserved, and quiet in the beginning but as he warms up to you, he is very proud, sarcastic, and belittling. But in general he has a very gentle and kind heart just socially anxious.
Do you think if a 36 year old man who has been in at least six short-term relationships since his college years (as long as a couple to a few months) will ever get to the point of something long term and maybe something serious? He has had one relationship in college, two in medical school, and a few after that. Does he have unrealisitc expectations of romantic relationships. He seems to equate physical intimacy with emotional intimacy...is this how men are wired? He claims to want to get married and have children one day so I know he wants something long term. He also has some personal issues where he doesn't get along with people very well. He has been twice fired within the past four years from his job because he doesn't get along with co-workers and bedside manners are not good. He doesn't seem to have any real close friends that are long term either. He seems shy, reserved, and quiet in the beginning but as he warms up to you, he is very proud, sarcastic, and belittling. But in general he has a very gentle and kind heart just socially anxious.

"He seems shy, reserved, and quiet in the beginning but as he warms up to you, he is very proud, sarcastic, and belittling. But in general he has a very gentle and kind heart just socially anxious."
As someone who wants to be a doctor (med school) I can't for the life of me understand why you'd want to be with someone who is "very proud, sarcastic, and belittling" and you justify that by him being "socially anxious".
It seems like you're reaching here. If those three things "proud, sarcastic, belittling" are part of his personality, it's no wonder he hasn't had ltr's.
My two cents. Beyond the fact that he hasn't had anythign serious since he was in his 20's, the fact that he can't hold a job, or that he can't even keep friends around, probably means, he isn't a good person.
I guess, if you like the proud, sarcastic, belitting type, then maybe you two coud hve something long term, but honestly, it sounds like he's just "not a nice person" and everyone agrees because they dont' want to be around him for very long.
AS I learned first-handedly.
Just because a man doesn't treat you like crap, for the most part, won't mean that he never will. My xh treated ppl and talked about them badly, but never to me. Well, guess what happened when we had to work on our r'ship or get divorced. I was the one now being treated badly and talked about badly.
If i were you, I'd stay away from him. People who are two-faced, or even sociopaths, have BIG issues.