lost and confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2005
lost and confused
2
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 1:09am
First off, I am a guy so here goes...my gf and I of two months decided to seperate for space, so I can figure out my feeling towards her. Do to the fact that she is is totally in love with me, and has told me she can see it in my eyes that I dont have the same feelings for her. so I can figure out my feeling towards her. she is 23 and and I am 23, she has been in several relationships. she is my first girlfriend ever, relationship. I was alway shy in highschool and had horrible trouble talking to girls. She on the other hand is the opposite. Totally outgoing etc. And has worked with me about opening emotionally which i have. We both make each other soooo happy when we are together. But it hurts her that the feelings are not mutual. I love her, but i dont feel as if im in love with her. I just want her to be happy. I care for her so much, im scared to think of myself without her or not ever seeing her again. I told her I may come to fall in love with her in the future or it may never happen and I told her lets just see where the relationship takes us. Is she not being fair to me and giving me a chance? or am I being selfish? any advice is greatly appreciated..Thanks


Edited 9/25/2005 10:23 am ET ET by wicxor
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
In reply to: wicxor
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 8:18am

Two months is a very short time period to have been dating. It's perfectly normal to not be sure yet. Even if you were feeling totally infatuated and could tell her that you felt like you were in love with her, those feelings this early in a relationship don't always last.

I've had men tell me they were totally in love that early in a relationship, and I'd rather not hear those words unless they're meant and the man can guarantee he'll still be that in love a couple more months down the road. I had a couple of bad experiences with men swearing their love and then once they really got to know me and got over the initial infatuation, those feelings passed. That's a painful situation.

It's interesting too, when we were dating, my husband didn't tell me he loved me until four months after we started dating. He waited until he was sure to say it. I remember at the time wondering how he felt, but I also really was happy when he said it for the first time because I knew he really meant it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: wicxor
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 9:30am
I would say to weigh it out and see what happens. Your feelings may not be totally developed yet. It takes more than two onths to truly know a person and it seems that that is the problem here. She's expecting too much all at once and you want to sit back and let it fall into place. The both of you are at different paces. Try to find a middle ground and see what happens. Good luck!