Love him, but not in love with him

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Love him, but not in love with him
12
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 11:41am
Hi board, need some advice... this guy I've been dating is really good to me, he loves me so much. But I've never been that excited about it. I've always just been so-so about the whole thing. He tries really hard, and I've tried to be all about it and affectionate, but I just get annoyed about his ways sometimes. I don't feel a spark or very much chemistry, but I know he really cares about me and I care about him as a person. I've broken his heart once before last year because I wasn't feeling it (I thought I just wasn't over an ex) So here we are again, and I've tried to break it off gently, that there is just something missing. He cried and I hate hurting him. Then we were talking just casually, and we were getting along and even laughing. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. He knows and said there is nothing else he can do (I told him he's great and done nothing wrong) and to do what I need to do. I just don't know?? I think there should be something more there, a special feeling, some spark, something? I hate to lose a great guy and I don't know why I'm not crazy about him but i'm not. I haven't cried about this, I didn't miss him when he went away for the weekend. I actually got annoyed because he gave me flowers saying how much he would miss me???? I sound ungrateful and horrible, but I just don't feel it, I guess. Am I not trying hard enough? I was totally into the last two guys before this one ,but we broke up. Should I keep at it and hope it gets better?
Thanks, Grace

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 9:40am

Thanks for all the support, it is very encouraging to hear that I'm not crazy or just plain heartless. I have to talk to him tonight, and I'm going to tell him it's over. Hopefully it will come out as graceful as pineapple girl wrote.

I wasn't 100% sure this was right, but I believe he definitely deserves a girl who is head over heals for him. I wish I could be that, but right now, for some unknown reason I just can't. I think a huge weight will be lifted once it's done, and we can move on to something great....

thanks all!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 1:00pm

Big hugs. And lots of COURAGE!!!

Hugs.

~pineapple_girl

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