To love or to let go?
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|Wed, 06-17-2009 - 1:50pm|
Good afternoon, ladies! I participated heavily on the "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" message boards about a year and a half ago while ending a five-year relationship, and now I find myself here, questioning whether a new relationship is right for me. I appreciate all of your advice and kind words in advance and look forward to getting to you know all!
My situation is a little bit complicated, but then, whose isn't? Please forgive the length of this post, although I'll try to be as succinct as possible:
I met a man about a year ago after arriving in a new town with a new job. At the time, I was getting over a difficult break up and was very hurt and in no place for a relationship. This new man, whom we'll call Jack, spent hours being a spectacular friend: comforting, hanging out, listening, talking, engaging me intellectually and all around being perfect for me at this point in my life. Over time, my feelings for him developed and this "just friends" situation turned into friends with benefits. So, you may ask, where's the problem?
The problem is two-fold: First, while I know that I absolutely love Jack, I don't know if I'm "in love" with him. I don't get the same floaty, head-over-heels feeling as I did in my five-year relationship, largely because I'm not very physically attracted to Jack and there are some religious differences that might potentially cause problems when introducing him to my family. However, I adore his personality and the way he makes me think. Secondly, and more imminently: Jack will be moving at the end of this month to a new city, about 1,000 miles away, to pursue a job.
So, the question is, do I try to pursue a long-distance, romantic relationship with this move on the horizon when I'm not even sure if I want to be dating him (that is, doing something more than friends with benefits) at all?
I can't go back to yesterday--because I was a different person then. --L. Carroll