Major mixed messages!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Major mixed messages!
12
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 9:04pm

Okay girls,
I gotta have some help here.This guy and I are in our 40s. I've been going out on a couple dates a week for three weeks now. They have been innocent, but he's gone out of his way to look extra sharp, dust off his project car, a convertable for a ride, bring thoughtful gifts for my grade-school age son. He's brought a home cooked dinner over, introduced me to some of his best friends. He calls or emails me before bed about once very 2 or three days.

He talks a lot about his family, and also a lot what he thinks a good relationship is about, about why he would want to spend the rest of his life with someone. I never bring these subjects up. Seems a bit odd for a guy. I never get to heavy with my contributions, but I am respectful and pay attention to what he says.

Last night he hugged me good night and gave me several kisses on the face neck and lips (first physical affection between us). Not excessively moist and very gentle. Later that evening he calls and talks about how attractive and wonderful I am but he said ' I just don't know know if I am ready for a relationship." He went on to say that it wasn't like when other guys said that, I didn't know what that meant. I was agreeable on the phone, but I felt hurt and angry in the morning. Later in the day he emailed a nice thank you note and said talk to you soon and what a good son I had.

So what's up with this guy??? Is he just bashful and has cold feet? I haven't pushed about anything. Why would he talk about family and relationships fo much, and go through the ropes of dating, gift shopping, dinner preparation etc, if he wasn't ready or wanting?

Sorry for the long post, my first here.
Thanks for any suggestions/insights!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 6:57am

I am in complete agreement with inkeddogmom.....

I would be very wary. He seems like a nice man but with issues, possibly issues that are ultimately insurmountable. Be careful, please.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 11:17pm

Hi all,
Seems things are resolved for the time. Thanks for your thoughtful words.

We talked again without snogging at the same time, and decieded to take it very slowly and carefully without committment. I think he's being very honest with me and I trust that he really doesn't know when he says I don't know if I'm ready. I don't feel led on or misled now.

All good. I feel much better.
Thanks!
UberSilly

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