Men, maybe you'll see this more clearly?
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|Fri, 08-27-2010 - 6:10pm|
I take classes at a local martial arts school. I have been taking this for 8 years. He has been in the art for 35 years. I have a great deal of respect for him and he does for me as well. We work out in class and on our own.
Before we worked out alone together, we were both attracted to each other last year, but I thought he was married. I got a boyfriend, he didn't know. He started to come around when I was at the school because he was interested in me, and I didn't know that. One day I introduced him to my boyfriend. He now says that that "broke his heart" cause he really was hoping to see me. sooooo.... I since then broke up with my boyfriend, and in the mean time found out he was not married. BUT I heard that he might be seeing this woman again that he'd been seeing on and off for many years. We then started training more and more and then a few times a group of us would go out and we ended up at the bar late. We very obviously have a great connection, we enjoy very much talking about our martial arts and etc.. We ended up two times kissing, and recently it took everything I had not to invite him up to my place. But as I had told him that evening, I know my lines and I have a lot of self respect and I won't cross those. I didn't. But i wanted to! He has been honest and I am as well. He and I have talked about how timing is very important and it has caused this situation to be what it is. He has had a vacation planned with her and they are going soon. He said that this should be a sort of decider of where they stand. I feel that I want to wait and see how things go with this, but I don't want to have my hopes up and I DON'T want to be stupid. I am responsible for my decisions and he is for his as well.
I don't expect all the best men (and he is by and large the best man I've met in my 40 plus years) to be sitting around waiting for me to come along. I would expect good men to be dating. He is not married, engaged and does not live with her. My thought is that if they had a real connection and love and wanted to commit to each other, they would have done it by now. It has been over 10 years that they have "dated" on and off. He has been divorced from someone else for over 20. Some of my friends have asked if I think he may have a commitment issue, and I really don't. He has lived in his own home for over 30 years, worked at the same place for over 25. His cars are well cared for and not new. He was married for 9 years and has 2 children. He is honest, and open minded. He really is a good man.
I am a patient person, but when does patience become stupid. ya know? I really do like him. I feel that we are a true match. I have really enjoyed out times together and I don't know if I really want to make him choose at this point. We are getting to know each other, and that is very good. At his age (50's) I can't expect him to just drop everything for a chance with us without some time to get his feelings clear about me.